How can I help you this beautiful morning?
You got any cases?
Three. Got a teenage African American lung transplant...
Next two days you'll be doing nothing but clinic work.
I just said...
You were lying.
Well, then why'd you ask?
Because if you told the truth
I was only gonna give you one day of clinic duty.
That's dishonest. I refuse to participate in this...
You'll do it. You owe me.
I kept you out of jail. I can put you back.
Perjurer.
Felon.
How can I help you this beautiful morning?
I told the nurse I have a runny nose.
But I don't.
I think I have syphilis or gonorrhea.
I think I have an STD.
I think I have a...
(PEOPLE CHATTERING)
Who is here for a runny nose?
It's a cold! It'll get better. Go home.
Those of you who stayed obviously do not have colds.
You will be assigned to a doctor who is not me,
because I am tired of wiping crotches.
House. You're doing this.
(SCREAMING)
- It hurts! - Sir...
(MAN SCREAMING)
Call security.
Should I get a sedative?
No, I'm good. Thanks.
MAN: It hurts! My head hurts!
(SCREAMING)
(STOPS SCREAMING)
Need a team here.
- I have the sedative. - Little late.
Just in time.
What did you give him? A paralytic.
CUDDY: Why would you do that?
Somebody had to stop the screaming.
Then he's still in pain.
Yeah. But quietly.
Paralytic's stopped him breathing.
If he goes hypoxic, he's gonna be quiet forever.
So either I can continue to swab people's privates
or I can figure out if this guy's delirium, pain
and insanely high heart rate are life-threatening
or just a personality quirk.
I think the latter choice is the better for all three of us.
FOREMAN: He's sedated.
It took five CCs of haloperidol
to get him down after the paralytic wore off.
So, pain in his right ear, psychotic behavior and dizziness. Go.
Nurses said he was holding his head.
How do you know it was specifically his ear?
Because he was dizzy.
Means the problem was affecting his inner ear.
Nurses said he was running in circles.
Doesn't mean he was dizzy.
He wasn't running in circles.
He was running in oblongs.
Looked like a three-year-old kid drew them.
Acoustic neuroma that started a hemorrhage.
Explains the pain, vertigo, everything.
Get an MRI.
What else?
If it explains everything...
Might not explain everything.
Well, what if he was psychotic first,
then self-mutilated, damaged the ear.
Excellent.
We need a complete psychiatric work up.
Your turn.
I was gonna say what Foreman...
Say something else.
He came to the clinic.
Good.
Decent chance he had a chronic illness first,
especially given the rapid heart rate.
Lingering ear infection, pressure builds up in his inner ear,
bursts through the mastoid bone while he's waiting in the clinic.
Oh: yes!
Get a head CT. Draw blood cultures.
Run a chem panel and get a complete blood count.
Oh, while you're at it, pour some alcohol into his ear
and take out the cockroach.
He has a cockroach in his ear?
He was scratching that ear
right before the event, so I took a peek.
My guess is it started biting.
Nothing else wrong with him?
Isn't that enough? It's pretty gross.
So why are we doing the tests?
Well, it's either that or I have to keep doing clinic duty.
You can do the tests or just stay out of (Buddy's sight.
I don't really care which.
(BIRDS CAWING)
Why are you here?
Because it's not a hospital.
It's a jogging park.
You're not jogging. You can't jog.
I'm watching jogging-
I sit and I watch and I imagine.
So what do you watch for?
That guy's running in shorts.
He's not running. He's trolling.
You're good at this.
How long are you going to stay here?
Beauty of this place is that it's the last place Cuddy will look.
How can I help you?
The doctors gave me this.
What doctors?
At the other hospital. Last month.
Do you know what this says?
Yes.
"Patient has a six-centimeter mass in the right lung.
Cancerous. inoperable."
Do you understand what this means?
Is it okay if I sleep here tonight?
It's cold outside.
What are you doing here?
I thought House had a case.
He doesn't.
(BIRDS CAWING)
You ordered a CT on a patient with a bug in his ear.
How did you know I was here?
I ran into Cameron in the clinic.
"Ran into"?
You ordered pointless tests just to...
Wouldn't have been pointless if you hadn't "run into" Cameron.
She got punished.
She's stuck with another dying patient.
Is that Vicodin?
Breath mint. Thought you were gonna kiss me.
What happened to rehab?
I got out.
It was a scam?
Enough foreplay. Are you going to kiss me or not?
You are going back to the clinic. Or jail.
You perjured yourself to keep me out of jail.
How are you going to tell...
I only did that because I thought you were getting clean.
So it's, "Do clinic duty or go to jail"?
Yes.
Then it'll be, "Finish your paperwork or go to jail."
"Help with fundraising or go to jail."
"Do your job or go to jail."
I think I'd rather go to jail.
You owe me.
HOUSE: Beautiful.
MAN: Thank you. It's dry.
Who cares? It's beautiful.
If my lawn were half as well-maintained as that,
pigeons wouldn't have the nerve to poop on it.
Good grooming is important.
Was that a shot?
People do judge you on your appearance.
When you entered, I noted your shirt hadn't been pressed.
You hadn't shaved in quite some time.
I extrapolated you are a person for whom
detail was not a major concern.
I was worried you might apply that same standard in your...
Do you use toenail clippers up there?
They're longer so they allow me
to better reach the upper hairs.
I'm wearing a rumpled shirt and forgot to brush my hair this week.
You've got athlete's foot in your nose.
I'm ready to be judged.
Okay. 50 dollars to any patient
who's willing to leave here right now.
MAN: Sounds good to me.
House. You can't...
My money.
I don't care. People do not...
If they'll leave for 50 bucks, they're not all that sick.
Or they're poor and desperate,
which is why this place is here.
If they're that poor, then they'd rather have 50 bucks than...
(COUGHS)
- Can I have the money? - Look. It's monogrammed!
He doesn't need money. Ergo, he's not sick.
And the blood?
Could be anybody's.
Monogram's definitely his.
We need to talk.
Doesn't matter what you say, do or threaten, I will find a way out.
How can we make this more interesting for you?
How can we make the sky green?
How can we make the tall short?
You cannot make the uninteresting interesting.
I'll pay you 10 dollars for every patient
you diagnose without touching.
You pay me 10 dollars for every one you have to touch.
You're making this into a game for me.
From which I can only conclude this isn't a game for you.
No.
Why? You think if I deal with enough people I'll find some humanity?
Yes.
Why do I have to do this myself?
I got a bum leg. Say, "Ah."
Ah.
Feels rough.
Yes. It's a rash. I'm gonna need more than "rough."
Well, it... It's just rough. Can't you feel it?
Well, I could.
But then what satisfaction would you get?
Got it!
Start counting.
How many?
Twenty-six.
Okay. Either you suck at math or you're gonna die in two seconds.
You suck at math.
Diagnosis. Prescription. You owe me 30.
I owe you 10.
Test results are back for your STD patients.
I'm not paying you for them.
You already touched them.
HOUSE: How old are you?
30.
And you've never seen an after-school special?
Dawson 3 Creek?
How do you get to 30 and not know about condoms?
Oh, God. I have an STD.
No. But you will.
Every patient who comes in here for an STD test
has one thing in common.
They had SWS, "sex while stupid."
How old are you?
Sixty.
You're lying, but that's not the point.
Have you never seen Dawson's Creek?
And you've never seen an after-school special?
How do you live to your age and not know about condoms?
I have an STD?
Yeah. You're actually the first one today.
Lucky day. Well, not for you, but you gotta feel good for everyone else.
($055)
It's chlamydia.
As bad news goes, it's about the best.
(SNIFFLING)
Oh, settle down. It's treatable.
It's actually curable.
(SNIFFLING)
All you gotta do is take these pills...
Don't touch me!
Oh, God.
I need someone to cover a patient.
House, you committed to...
She was raped.
You think I'm the right doctor for her?
We've assigned another doctor to your care.
I didn't mean to upset Dr. House.
He knows that. That's not why we're doing this.
I'd like to keep being treated by him.
Why?
Just do.
Trust me. It's better if you deal with somebody who specializes...
I'm fine.
You told Dr. House it's been less than a week.
You haven't told anyone other than him.
Emotionally you're still...
You know what I'm dealing with?
You know what I'm going through?
No.
You think Dr. House does?
I'm not suggesting either one of us be your doctor.
Dr. Stone is a psychiatrist.
If Dr. House is too busy, I could wait.
Why do you want me?
I don't know.
I don't want to treat you.
You're just saying that so I'll see the psychiatrist.
True. Except for the word "just."
I'm saying I don't want to treat you
so you'll see the psychiatrist
and because I don't want to treat you.
Why don't you want to treat me anymore?
I never wanted to treat you.
The fact that you were raped
(HOUSE SIGHS)
holds no interest for me.
It's nothing personal.
There's nothing to treat. You're physically healthy.
Okay-
But I want you to be my doctor.
Why?
I don't know.
You gotta have a reason. Everything has a reason.
I trust you.
Ah, you see? That's a bad reason.
'Cause I'll lie to you.
I'll tell you anything just to get you out of here.
I don't care. I want to talk to you.
Look, you were raped.
All control was taken from you.
You're trying to find that control again.
You want me because I don't want you.
I'm raping you?
In a very non-invasive, more annoying than traumatic...
Get the hell out of here!
I'll send in Dr. Stone.
I didn't consent to all of this medicine.
You've been out on the streets. No treatment...
I'm dying. There is no treatment for dying.
We can make you comfortable.
Don't want to be. Why not?
Because I screwed up my life.
So you want to punish yourself for messing up your life?
Please, stop the treatment.
(HICCUPS)
It'll go away on its own.
It's not. Can't you...
Nope. It'll go away.
It's been all day.
There must be some treatment you...
Nope. It'll go away.
Or it won't go away.
I read about a treatment.
Some doctor won a prize for it.
I read about it.
You don't have the hiccups, do you?
Make a note, "Drug-seeking behavior."
- Morphine? - No. Anal digital stimulation.
How long has Stone been in with her?
Are you concerned?
You know how many people get raped every day?
So it's common, therefore boring?
If we were to care about every person suffering on the planet,
life would shut down.
How about just the ones we meet?
They deserve our sympathy more than the other people?
So your solution is not to give a damn about any of them.
How do you do that? How do you take that theory
and put it in practice? You met her...
Whoa, whoa, whoa! Hey! Whoa!
Hey! I paid these people 50 bucks to leave here an hour ago.
Yeah, we came back.
Then you owe me 50.
The kid needs surgery.
And he could walk way back then.
Stand up, kid.
He swallowed a magnet. We got to cut it out.
- How old are you? - Eight.
And he swallowed something stuck to a fridge.
Darwin says, "Let him die."
If it's already below the stomach, it should pass on its own.
Strong magnet.
It's messing with the imaging.
We have no way to...
You got x-ray vision, House?
Whoa, whoa! You're gonna cut him open? Right here?
It's well into the intestines. He's fine.
I want my 50 back.
STONE: I need a crash cart! Stat!
What happened?
Pills. Benzos. We need to get her stomach pumped.
- Respiration's shallow. - What did you say to her?
Nothing that would make her want to...
CUDDY: Heartbeat's irregular.
- What did she say to you? - Nothing.
I gave her a couple of sedatives, turned around,
- and she grabbed the whole bottle. - You must have said something.
I said plenty. She said nothing.
I was with her for over an hour.
She didn't say one word.
(MACHINES BEEPING)
(VIDEO GAME BUZZING)
You gonna do that again?
You're gonna be okay. Physically.
Which is all that interests you.
But you're here.
Under orders.
Why would you tell me that?
'Cause I don't like hypocrisy.
But you don't have a problem with cruelty?
Which brings us back to, why do you want me?
I don't know.
You tried to kill yourself because you couldn't talk to me.
You must have a reason.
Why does there always have to be a reason?
Can't we just talk?
There's a phone. Talk to a friend,
a family member. Call the police.
(SIGHS)
You want to talk about what happened to you?
No.
You want to talk about your STD meds?
No.
You don't really seem to want to talk.
No, I do.
About what?
(SIGHS)
I don't know. Anything.
The weather?
You were raped and you want to talk about the weather?
Yeah.
I'm not gonna talk to you about the weather.
- You help her. - She wants you.
God knows why.
She doesn't know what she wants.
She knows she wants you. You were the first person she spoke to about this.
The fact that I was in the wrong place at the wrong time
should be trumped by the fact that I'm useless at this.
No, you're not.
You romantically wanting to believe that
is never going to make it true.
I'm agreeing with you.
You're the last person she should be talking to.
If she wants to talk about the weather, talk about the weather.
She wants normalcy. She wants to feel like the world didn't end.
Right. I'll tell her that everything went on without her.
Babies were born, people got married,
thousands of people will remember the day she got raped
as the happiest day of their lives.
You might not want to phrase it quite that way.
You need to get her to talk about what happened.
FOREMAN: No, he doesn't.
Pretending it didn't happen...
Wrong. Pretending this didn't happen
is the best thing she could possibly do.
She's got to make this real.
You know what we should be trying to make real or process?
The few decent moments in our lives. Not the crap.
Maybe you're right. Except there's no way
she can pretend this didn't happen.
So she has no choice but to process it.
You've got to tell me what happened.
You don't really want to hear.
Sure I do.
You're lying.
This doesn't have to destroy your life.
I know.
It doesn't mean anything about you.
It wasn't your fault.
I know.
You did nothing wrong.
Some jerk hurt you. That's all.
I know.
You're worried that you can never trust men again.
No.
Statistically, there was always a chance this could happen.
The fact that it did happen doesn't change anything.
The world doesn't suck any more today than it did yesterday.
I know all that.
Well, then what do you want me to tell you?
Nothing. I just want to talk.
About nothing. If we talk about nothing, nothing will change.
It might.
How?
Time.
Time changes everything.
That's what people say. It's not true.
Doing things changes things.
Not doing things leaves things exactly as they were.
Why do you have to suffer?
I gave my word.
Who would make you promise that?
My father.
He said I would die alone and miserable.
That's not a promise.
And even if it was, he's dead.
And even if he's not, he's not going to care if...
Why did your husband have to suffer?
- How do you know about my husband? - Well, I just know.
You have to die in pain
because of a promise you made to your father?
If I say "yes," you'll use that as proof that I'm insane.
Force treatment on me.
Did the nurse tell you about my husband?
No.
- Nurse! - Yes.
It's under control.
I'm sorry. I was just trying to freak you out.
Why?
Because I need you to remember me.
I need somebody to remember me.
Where did you go to college?
Northwestern. You?
Hopkins. What was your major?
Comparative religion.
Why do you trust me?
I don't know. Can't we just...
That's not rational.
Nothing's rational.
Everything is rational!
I was raped.
Explain how that makes sense to you.
We are selfish, base animals crawling across the earth,
and because we've got brains, if we try real hard,
we can occasionally aspire to something that is less than pure evil.
(SIGHS)
Has anything terrible ever happened to you?
What do you want me to say?
You wanted this conversation.
You wanted to talk about something that matters. Talk.
She's waiting for your answer?
She's asleep.
I sedated her.
Why do you care what you say to her?
Because I don't know how to answer these questions.
It's a simple question. "Has your life sucked?"
Tell her the truth. Tell her you were shot. Tell her...
She doesn't want to hear the truth.
She's looking for something.
Looking to extrapolate some...
She's looking to connect with you.
And that's what's scaring the hell out of you. Tell her the truth.
There is no truth.
Are we role-playing?
Am I you? I don't want to be you.
She's not asking for test results.
She's not asking what two plus two equals.
She's asking for my personal life experience
so she can extrapolate to all humanity.
That's not truth. It's bad science.
It's not science at all. Tell her the truth.
Tell her your life has been good.
It hasn't been.
Tell her anyway. She wants hope.
She wants to know that what happened to her wasn't the norm.
That things can be okay,
which means maybe they can be okay for her again.
Tell her your life sucked.
It didn't.
Tell her anyway.
She wants to know she's not alone.
She wants to know she's gonna survive this.
That other people have been through this
and worse and come out the other end.
She wants to know if she's going to heal.
Act like you've healed.
Tell her...
Keep her asleep.
Thanks. You all have been a huge help.
There's no wrong answer.
Because there's no right answer.
Wrong.
We just don't know what the right answer is.
Wake up.
It's not as bad as what happened to you.
I don't think.
I don't know what happened to you.
But given how lousy you're responding,
I assume it was worse than getting abused by your grandmother.
What did she do to you?
Parents traveled a lot.
They'd leave me with her.
She liked things the way she liked them.
And she believed in discipline.
She was right, I suppose,
because I hardly ever screwed up when she was around.
Too scared of getting forced to sleep in the yard
or take a bath in ice.
Your turn.
Your parents, they never stopped her?
I never told them.
Why not?
Usual reasons.
I was afraid they wouldn't believe me.
I was afraid they'd think I'd done something wrong.
I opened up to you. You open up to me.
What did you call her?
Oma.
And you kept calling her that after this?
Dutch for "grandmother." She was still my grandmother.
And she was still Dutch.
Is any part of that story true?
All of it.
You wouldn't keep calling her Oma.
Something would have to change.
You don't know me.
You wouldn't keep calling her Oma!
- Look, you're over-reacting... - Do not dismiss me.
I'm not dismissing you.
I'm saying you're not acting rationally.
I'm angry because you are lying to me!
- No, you are... - What can I do?
What the hell can I do that you're not gonna dismiss
as just being because I was raped?
Nothing.
Your story, is it true?
True for somebody.
But not for you.
These things happen.
It happened to somebody.
What do you care if it happened to me?
- They're not in this room. - No, they're out there!
Doctors, lawyers, postal workers.
Some of them doing great, some of them doing lousy.
You gonna base your whole life
on who you got stuck in a room with?
I'm gonna base this moment on who I'm stuck in a room with.
It's what life is. It's a series of rooms.
And who we get stuck in those rooms with
adds up to what our lives are.
CUDDY: House?
You gotta get me out of this.
There's nothing to diagnose. There's nothing...
You only tested her for STDs?
I had seven morons who forgot their raincoats.
It's all they asked for so I didn't waste the lab's time. Why?
I wasted their time. She's pregnant.
Do you understand?
Are you okay?
I mean, I know you're not okay.
But are you more or less not okay
than you were five minutes ago?
About the same.
Good.
The termination procedure isn't pleasant...
I don't want to terminate.
You want to keep the baby?
Abortion is murder.
True. It's a life. And you should end it.
Every life is sacred.
Talk to me. Don't quote me bumper stickers.
- It's true. - It's meaningless.
It means every life matters to God.
Not to me, not to you.
And judging by the number of natural disasters, not to God either.
You're just being argumentative.
Yeah. I do do that.
What about Hitler?
Was his life sacred to God?
The father of your child?
Is his life sacred to you?
My child isn't Hitler.
Either every life is sacred or...
Stop it! I don't want to chat about philosophy!
You're not killing your rape baby because of a philosophy.
It's murder. I'm against it. You for it?
Not as a general rule.
Just for unborn children?
Yes.
The problem with exceptions to rules is the line-drawing.
It might make sense to kill the ass that did this to you,
but then where do we draw the line?
Which asses do we get to kill?
Which asses get to keep on being asses?
The nice thing about the abortion debate
is we can quibble over trimesters
but ultimately there's a nice clean line, birth.
Morally there's not a lot of difference.
Practically, huge.
You're enjoying this conversation.
It's just the type of conversation I do well.
But the other type?
The personal stuff?
There are no answers.
And if there are no answers, why talk about it?
You're healthy. You shouldn't be here.
I don't want to go.
Fine. I won't discharge you.
Wanna go for a walk?
(GROANS)
It's the last of my journey.
You don't deserve pain. You're just an insane old man.
- No. - I am not going to watch you suffer.
I need you to remember me.
- I'll remember you! - Why?
Because you're a nice man.
You don't know that. You don't know anything about me.
Either you were a nice man or you were an ass.
Either way you did something to somebody that they're going to remember.
I have no family. I have no friends.
I didn't even have a real job.
If I die in peace,
then I'm just another patient.
But if I die suffering...
It'll be horrible. Don't do that to either of us.
No. I just need to die knowing that something is different
because I was here.
(SIGHING)
(GROANS)
(GRUNTING)
Life goes on.
Is that the reason why we're out here?
Know why I come here?
I sit. I watch. I imagine.
Sounds nice.
I imagine that one of them will break a leg.
Just one false step, one crack in the sidewalk...
You don't really.
I'm evil.
Evil people don't say they're evil.
That sounds like an easy loophole.
People can do good things, but their instincts are not good.
Either God doesn't exist or he's unimaginably cruel.
I don't believe that.
What do you believe?
Why do you think this happened?
I don't want to talk about it.
Me neither. Too bad.
You know, I don't think there was a reason.
So God does exist, lets you get raped,
needs you to keep your rape baby for no reason.
Maybe he was challenging me.
He hurts you to help you.
Well, I guess it's better than because he hates you.
You're trying to convince me there's no God.
Why would you even say something like that?
Because you're throwing your life away.
I'm doing what I believe!
What you believe doesn't make sense.
This is not helping me.
Then I can't help you.
If you believe in eternity, then life is irrelevant.
The same way that a bug is irrelevant
in comparison to the universe.
If you don't believe in eternity,
then what you do here is irrelevant.
Your actions here are all that matters.
Then nothing matters.
There's no ultimate consequences.
I couldn't live like that.
So, you need to think that the guy
who did this to you is going to be punished?
I need to know that it all means something.
I need that comfort.
Yeah. Are you feeling comfortable?
You feeling good right now? You fool warm inside?
I was raped. What's your excuse?
(MONITOR FLATLINING)
(EXHALES)
Do you think the guy who did this to me feels bad?
Would that help you? Make you feel better?
Why do you always do that?
Ask why I'm asking questions instead of just answering the question?
The answer doesn't interest me.
I don't care what he's feeling.
I'm interested in what you're feeling.
You are?
I'm trapped in the room with you, right?
Why did you choose me?
There's something about you.
It's like you're hurt, too.
It was true.
What was?
It wasn't my grandmother. But it was true.
Who was it?
It was my dad.
I'd like to tell you what happened to me now.
I'd like to hear it.
It was my friend's birthday party...
(GREY ROOM PLAYING)
She terminated. She's been discharged.
She's going to be okay.
Yeah. It's that simple.
She's talking about what happened.
That's huge. You did good.
And everyone'll tell you that's what we gotta make her do.
We got to help her, right? Except we can't.
We drag out her story, tell each other that it'll help her heal
and feel real good about ourselves.
Maybe all we've done is make a girl cry.
Then why did you...
(BALL THUDDING)
Because I don't know.
You gonna follow up with her?
One day, one room.