1
00:00:28,779 --> 00:00:29,780
嗨,公公

2
00:00:29,780 --> 00:00:31,532
梅爺,你好嗎?

3
00:00:31,532 --> 00:00:36,328
我以為又會被接駁至
你媽的留言信箱,你好嗎?

4
00:00:36,328 --> 00:00:38,539
很好啊
-棒球賽順利嗎?

5
00:00:38,539 --> 00:00:40,290
順利,我是中外野手

6
00:00:41,250 --> 00:00:43,836
嘩,是重要位置

7
00:00:43,836 --> 00:00:47,422
好過做右外野手
傻仔才會被安排到那個位

8
00:00:47,422 --> 00:00:49,258
講“傻仔”是不對的

9
00:00:49,258 --> 00:00:51,385
講“傻仔”是不對?

10
00:00:51,969 --> 00:00:53,178
可笑

11
00:00:53,178 --> 00:00:55,639
細路,你媽媽在嗎?可以叫她接聽嗎?

12
00:00:55,639 --> 00:00:57,266
喂
-保羅

13
00:00:57,266 --> 00:00:58,976
保羅,唏,我是狄夫

14
00:01:00,561 --> 00:01:01,728
聽住,美格在沖涼

15
00:01:01,728 --> 00:01:04,272
但你知她目前不想跟你傾吧

16
00:01:04,272 --> 00:01:07,901
對,狄夫,幫我一個忙
講她知這樣很幼稚

17
00:01:08,610 --> 00:01:09,611
多謝你打來,保羅

18
00:01:09,611 --> 00:01:11,738
我也多謝你,狄夫

19
00:01:11,738 --> 00:01:12,823
拜

20
00:01:19,872 --> 00:01:22,040
當尼表現得很好,大概一週吧

21
00:01:23,083 --> 00:01:27,087
但現在故態復萌,我做甚麼他都批評

22
00:01:28,672 --> 00:01:29,673
這個嘛,姬絲

23
00:01:29,673 --> 00:01:31,175
你知我的專業意見是甚麼吧

24
00:01:33,177 --> 00:01:34,636
你的丈夫是卑鄙小人

25
00:01:35,387 --> 00:01:38,682
抱歉,但他很似
1980年代電影的奸人堅,知道嗎?

26
00:01:38,682 --> 00:01:41,435
若師傅叫到,他肯定會掃腳跣人

27
00:01:41,435 --> 00:01:44,188
他就是不肯停,甚麼都由我來做

28
00:01:44,188 --> 00:01:45,939
他唯一會做的是煮咖啡

29
00:01:45,939 --> 00:01:51,111
例如“你煮的蛋未夠熟,姬絲
但是這杯咖啡正到爆

30
00:01:51,111 --> 00:01:54,865
你又洗爛衫了,但我煮的咖啡索到癲”

31
00:01:55,741 --> 00:01:58,368
甚麼?他用“索到癲”來形容飲品?

32
00:01:58,368 --> 00:02:02,706
老實講,我有時很想推跌他的寶貝咖啡

33
00:02:02,706 --> 00:02:05,959
就好似輕輕篤一下,淋他的奇怪春袋

34
00:02:05,959 --> 00:02:06,960
怎樣奇怪?

35
00:02:06,960 --> 00:02:09,588
超巨型,根本不是...

36
00:02:09,588 --> 00:02:13,592
夠了,我不想知,你應該照做啊,姬絲

37
00:02:14,259 --> 00:02:17,137
不是淋他的春袋,那樣做是襲擊,但沒錯

38
00:02:17,137 --> 00:02:20,474
倒落洗碗盤之類吧,這樣叫做模式中斷

39
00:02:20,474 --> 00:02:22,142
即是要輕輕篤他?

40
00:02:23,227 --> 00:02:26,813
輕輕篤,若無後果,無人會改變壞行為

41
00:02:27,356 --> 00:02:30,651
你做錯了,姬絲,所以要承擔後果

42
00:02:31,902 --> 00:02:33,904
其實我今日稍後就要承擔後果

43
00:02:33,904 --> 00:02:36,156
點解?你做過甚麼?

44
00:02:37,991 --> 00:02:40,327
抱歉,我跟嘉比姨姨上床了

45
00:02:40,327 --> 00:02:42,037
天啊

46
00:02:42,037 --> 00:02:45,582
老友,她成世人從未叫過我“嘉比姨姨”

47
00:02:46,166 --> 00:02:48,669
你為何要那樣講?想令她更難堪嗎?

48
00:02:48,669 --> 00:02:50,170
我無心的,只是衝口而出

49
00:02:50,170 --> 00:02:51,255
好吧,我要走了

50
00:02:51,255 --> 00:02:53,298
等等,求求你...

51
00:02:53,298 --> 00:02:55,384
我們覺得要修補我們的關係

52
00:02:55,384 --> 00:02:56,844
就要坦誠對話
-沒錯

53
00:02:56,844 --> 00:02:59,471
我不想聽你怎樣污辱嘉比

54
00:02:59,471 --> 00:03:01,682
等等,我們其實是互相污辱

55
00:03:01,682 --> 00:03:03,684
沒錯,她重手過我

56
00:03:03,684 --> 00:03:07,020
你也懂我吧
你覺得我在此事無話語權嗎?

57
00:03:07,604 --> 00:03:11,358
你以為全是因為他的魅力和技巧?

58
00:03:11,358 --> 00:03:14,695
望望你爸個樣,他似跟幾多人上過床?

59
00:03:15,612 --> 00:03:16,947
頂多兩三個女人

60
00:03:16,947 --> 00:03:18,782
只是普通樣
-對

61
00:03:18,782 --> 00:03:20,951
天啊,你贏了,嘉比,可以未?

62
00:03:20,951 --> 00:03:23,370
我也很嬲你,你想我叫你阿媽嗎?

63
00:03:23,370 --> 00:03:25,706
唏,我不鍾意那樣,完全不鍾意

64
00:03:25,706 --> 00:03:29,793
你爸和我傾過了
我們覺得那次是大錯特錯

65
00:03:29,793 --> 00:03:33,547
絕對是,我們兩個當時很軟弱,而且...

66
00:03:33,547 --> 00:03:34,631
別這樣
-好吧

67
00:03:34,631 --> 00:03:37,050
其實甚麼意思都無
-正是

68
00:03:37,050 --> 00:03:41,013
講到尾,你跟你毫不在乎的人上床

69
00:03:41,013 --> 00:03:43,348
哪管媽媽很在乎她,而且在媽媽的床上?

70
00:03:44,600 --> 00:03:48,020
也是我的床,明白嗎?
是來自她童年的家嗎?沒錯

71
00:03:48,604 --> 00:03:50,898
是公公在外婆死後送給她嗎?沒錯

72
00:03:50,898 --> 00:03:53,233
但那張床不只是屬於她,也屬於我

73
00:03:53,233 --> 00:03:55,360
而且我們不是一直在床上

74
00:03:55,986 --> 00:03:57,529
別講了...

75
00:03:57,529 --> 00:03:59,573
我們也有企過
-天啊

76
00:03:59,573 --> 00:04:00,657
我要去嘔

77
00:04:01,158 --> 00:04:03,619
去吧,很合理,非常合理

78
00:04:05,829 --> 00:04:07,206
你到底有無搞錯?

79
00:04:07,206 --> 00:04:09,583
我們講過要坦白,的確有企過

80
00:04:11,168 --> 00:04:12,377
公司見

81
00:04:37,528 --> 00:04:42,407
《誠實治療法》

82
00:04:44,910 --> 00:04:46,078
點樣食這種糖?

83
00:04:46,078 --> 00:04:47,496
你未食過好玩棒棒糖?

84
00:04:47,496 --> 00:04:49,039
沒錯,從未食過

85
00:04:49,039 --> 00:04:51,959
用那支棒勺出糖粉

86
00:04:51,959 --> 00:04:53,544
然後再食那支棒

87
00:04:54,586 --> 00:04:56,421
認真?
-對

88
00:04:56,421 --> 00:04:58,215
我為何要用糖果支付你?

89
00:04:58,799 --> 00:05:01,426
因為你好窮,而且我鍾意食糖

90
00:05:06,723 --> 00:05:09,935
心瑪不斷傳短訊來
講今晚的爛鬼花園派對

91
00:05:10,435 --> 00:05:11,436
甚麼是花園派對?

92
00:05:11,436 --> 00:05:14,022
就像“橋底飲酒”一樣

93
00:05:14,022 --> 00:05:17,442
但大家會偷入金尼洛亞花園
然後飲到爛醉

94
00:05:17,442 --> 00:05:19,611
心瑪真擅長改名

95
00:05:20,696 --> 00:05:24,867
或者我應該去,我身邊所有人都為所欲為

96
00:05:24,867 --> 00:05:28,203
上週在沙灘上
有個南加州大學的男生走過來

97
00:05:28,203 --> 00:05:32,291
問我讀哪間大學,他想撩我

98
00:05:33,208 --> 00:05:35,836
或者我應該上他部綿羊仔,跟他回家

99
00:05:35,836 --> 00:05:38,964
別拿來開玩笑
不要搭上開綿羊仔的男生吧

100
00:05:40,048 --> 00:05:41,300
可以食這個?

101
00:05:46,221 --> 00:05:47,222
這支棒很好味

102
00:05:47,222 --> 00:05:51,059
你目前是我身邊唯一正常的成人

103
00:05:51,685 --> 00:05:55,105
對,我爸又白癡又衰格

104
00:05:55,105 --> 00:05:57,024
別對他這麼苛刻吧

105
00:05:57,941 --> 00:06:01,069
後生仔女總是以為只得自己有煩惱

106
00:06:01,069 --> 00:06:03,280
你爸有很多煩惱

107
00:06:04,740 --> 00:06:05,741
人人都是

108
00:06:06,617 --> 00:06:09,286
不是凡事都以你為中心的,知道嗎?

109
00:06:10,370 --> 00:06:12,456
我沒那樣講過
-甚麼...

110
00:06:12,456 --> 00:06:16,251
但你說我們見面
是要讓我宣洩煩惱,所以...

111
00:06:16,251 --> 00:06:19,087
天啊,我不知你搞甚麼鬼,但算數

112
00:06:19,087 --> 00:06:20,756
好吧,聽我講,抱歉

113
00:06:21,381 --> 00:06:22,341
我...

114
00:06:22,341 --> 00:06:24,176
我滿腦子都是自己的煩惱

115
00:06:25,093 --> 00:06:26,512
不應該拿你來出氣

116
00:06:28,096 --> 00:06:31,391
請別走,別這樣,若你走,我會很難過

117
00:06:32,184 --> 00:06:33,185
拜

118
00:06:35,562 --> 00:06:37,314
你對女人真有一手,保羅,對吧?

119
00:06:45,364 --> 00:06:46,448
可惡

120
00:06:48,200 --> 00:06:49,910
這套行山裝很差

121
00:06:49,910 --> 00:06:51,995
是嗎?我屁股已經變沼澤

122
00:06:51,995 --> 00:06:54,331
還以為在你們行山前,我們可以傾傾

123
00:06:54,331 --> 00:06:57,417
對,抱歉,老友
我的婚前運動時間表不能改

124
00:06:57,417 --> 00:06:59,753
再練幾週,我就可以不著上衫

125
00:06:59,753 --> 00:07:01,255
就連上班和去餐廳都是

126
00:07:01,255 --> 00:07:02,840
我連做愛都不除衫了

127
00:07:04,216 --> 00:07:08,095
唏,聽住,查理
我在派對失態,我已跟拜仁道歉

128
00:07:08,095 --> 00:07:09,847
但我也想向你道歉

129
00:07:09,847 --> 00:07:12,307
不緊要,占美,我們愛你
-對

130
00:07:12,307 --> 00:07:14,726
講開又講,我們會提前舉辦婚禮

131
00:07:15,269 --> 00:07:18,355
下月是最好時機,我們兩個都可以請假

132
00:07:18,355 --> 00:07:19,690
而且若我們快快籌備

133
00:07:19,690 --> 00:07:22,359
就可以意外地忘記邀請
我們暗地裏好憎的人

134
00:07:22,860 --> 00:07:24,152
彬

135
00:07:24,152 --> 00:07:26,530
唏,老友,停一停,好嗎?

136
00:07:27,364 --> 00:07:29,324
我知我們講過要做對方的證婚人

137
00:07:29,324 --> 00:07:30,242
好嘢

138
00:07:30,242 --> 00:07:34,121
但我知你肯定不想大發偉論

139
00:07:34,121 --> 00:07:35,372
講愛和婚姻

140
00:07:35,372 --> 00:07:37,499
不會,甚麼?別講笑,我超期待

141
00:07:37,499 --> 00:07:40,460
我會講得超好
就像你為我和提雅證婚那樣

142
00:07:40,961 --> 00:07:45,132
唏,我要回去了,我條褲濕到黐腳

143
00:07:45,132 --> 00:07:47,134
遲些再見吧
-好吧

144
00:07:47,134 --> 00:07:48,969
拜
-拜,老友

145
00:07:51,847 --> 00:07:53,891
好嘢,你沒講他知,你不想他做證婚人

146
00:07:53,891 --> 00:07:54,975
細聲點

147
00:07:55,559 --> 00:07:57,186
拜
-拜

148
00:07:58,729 --> 00:08:01,148
可惡
-不緊要

149
00:08:01,148 --> 00:08:03,775
我想問你,你鍾意藝術展嗎?

150
00:08:03,775 --> 00:08:04,860
悶死我

151
00:08:04,860 --> 00:08:07,654
好吧,想跟我去藝術展嗎?

152
00:08:07,654 --> 00:08:10,073
好啊,我開車,表現得太心急嗎?

153
00:08:10,073 --> 00:08:12,451
對,但我們之間沒所謂吧
我們的關係是這樣

154
00:08:13,202 --> 00:08:14,203
我們有關係?

155
00:08:14,203 --> 00:08:15,579
我很開心,我們有關係

156
00:08:15,579 --> 00:08:16,914
但聽我講,是這樣的

157
00:08:16,914 --> 00:08:21,251
尼高邀請我去他的藝術展,我想去支持他

158
00:08:21,251 --> 00:08:22,336
他的畫功如何?

159
00:08:22,336 --> 00:08:24,588
他的畫作似模似樣

160
00:08:24,588 --> 00:08:27,132
抑或只是亂畫一通?

161
00:08:27,966 --> 00:08:31,678
有些是亂畫一通,但有些是“不錯啊”

162
00:08:31,678 --> 00:08:32,804
唏,兩位

163
00:08:32,804 --> 00:08:33,722
嗨

164
00:08:33,722 --> 00:08:35,432
麗絲,上次燒烤時向你借用的大碟

165
00:08:35,432 --> 00:08:36,390
謝謝

166
00:08:36,975 --> 00:08:39,645
唏,阿桑,你想跟我們去藝術展嗎?

167
00:08:39,645 --> 00:08:40,562
看油畫?

168
00:08:41,605 --> 00:08:43,357
有些是亂畫一通,但有些是“不錯啊”

169
00:08:44,066 --> 00:08:45,275
你一定會鍾意

170
00:08:45,275 --> 00:08:47,819
況且我要帶白人闊太去藝術展

171
00:08:47,819 --> 00:08:49,404
就要帶黑人去平衡一下

172
00:08:49,404 --> 00:08:51,615
不用講,我撐你
-謝謝,老友

173
00:08:52,282 --> 00:08:55,410
其他黑人朋友帶我出去,都不用找人平衡

174
00:08:55,994 --> 00:08:58,288
麗絲,你才沒有黑人朋友

175
00:08:58,288 --> 00:08:59,873
絕對是
-我知

176
00:09:00,874 --> 00:09:02,292
但我很想有

177
00:09:02,292 --> 00:09:03,669
對

178
00:09:07,089 --> 00:09:08,632
唏
-唏

179
00:09:09,174 --> 00:09:11,718
我在清理鋼琴上的殘餘嘔吐物

180
00:09:13,136 --> 00:09:16,515
你聽到吧,高音C還是壞了

181
00:09:16,515 --> 00:09:18,183
這個嘛,在最差的情況

182
00:09:18,183 --> 00:09:19,893
你頂多要扔掉整部琴而已

183
00:09:25,107 --> 00:09:26,817
我有事要講你知
-甚麼事?

184
00:09:28,986 --> 00:09:30,571
我還以為可以留紙條給你就算

185
00:09:31,196 --> 00:09:32,197
在外面不見你部車

186
00:09:32,990 --> 00:09:34,575
等等,你說甚麼?我部車呢?

187
00:09:35,075 --> 00:09:36,410
我不知道

188
00:09:36,410 --> 00:09:37,536
豈有此理

189
00:09:37,536 --> 00:09:38,662
或者愛麗斯開走了?

190
00:09:38,662 --> 00:09:40,038
她沒有車牌

191
00:09:41,540 --> 00:09:42,541
愛麗斯

192
00:09:45,252 --> 00:09:47,004
你在家嗎?愛麗斯

193
00:09:50,382 --> 00:09:51,383
情況不妙

194
00:09:51,383 --> 00:09:55,345
放心,我們的狗也試過
你有替她安裝晶片嗎?

195
00:09:57,514 --> 00:09:58,515
(尼高菲德斯)

196
00:10:02,352 --> 00:10:03,520
對

197
00:10:03,520 --> 00:10:05,063
很有型

198
00:10:05,063 --> 00:10:08,734
對吧?你需要離開有錢白人圈子一陣

199
00:10:10,152 --> 00:10:11,570
你覺得他們有泊車優惠嗎?

200
00:10:11,570 --> 00:10:13,989
開心一陣都好
-對

201
00:10:13,989 --> 00:10:15,073
弊

202
00:10:15,073 --> 00:10:16,158
甚麼?
-你看

203
00:10:16,158 --> 00:10:18,118
望去那邊的那群女人
-這裏?

204
00:10:18,118 --> 00:10:21,038
是尼高的老朋友,她們應該不太鍾意我

205
00:10:21,038 --> 00:10:23,707
那就是她們白癡,哪個最乞人憎?

206
00:10:23,707 --> 00:10:25,709
你可以偷偷講,我的鎖匙扣有鐳射筆

207
00:10:25,709 --> 00:10:28,003
不知道,很難揀,她們都是婆娘

208
00:10:28,003 --> 00:10:29,755
我覺得她最衰

209
00:10:29,755 --> 00:10:32,674
唏,停手啊
-甚麼?

210
00:10:32,674 --> 00:10:34,343
我好憎那婆娘
-明白

211
00:10:34,343 --> 00:10:36,220
她看似在講你是非

212
00:10:36,220 --> 00:10:37,221
沒錯,對吧?

213
00:10:37,221 --> 00:10:38,472
她可能在說

214
00:10:39,181 --> 00:10:42,142
“看看她的蜜桃臀、6呎高,又有博士學位

215
00:10:42,809 --> 00:10:45,854
個樣水潤,經常有激烈床戰”

216
00:10:45,854 --> 00:10:48,106
你幻想她用“水潤”形容你?

217
00:10:48,106 --> 00:10:50,984
我沒講過她是盲,阿桑
她是婆娘而已,醒少少吧

218
00:10:50,984 --> 00:10:52,361
好吧

219
00:10:53,237 --> 00:10:54,446
兩位,我們不應該來

220
00:10:54,446 --> 00:10:55,656
不,尼高想你來

221
00:10:55,656 --> 00:10:57,157
其實他沒講過

222
00:10:57,950 --> 00:10:59,034
以前他有展覽時

223
00:10:59,034 --> 00:11:00,911
他會壓力大到抑鬱復發

224
00:11:00,911 --> 00:11:02,829
我只想來看看他是否安好

225
00:11:02,829 --> 00:11:03,914
我想看看他情況如何

226
00:11:05,123 --> 00:11:06,416
原來你們互相依賴,明白

227
00:11:06,416 --> 00:11:09,169
搞錯?你不了解我的人生,也不了解我

228
00:11:09,169 --> 00:11:12,506
好吧,開始有火藥味,我五分鐘後回來

229
00:11:12,506 --> 00:11:13,590
不用吧

230
00:11:15,217 --> 00:11:19,179
聽住,麗絲,我現在心靈脆弱

231
00:11:19,179 --> 00:11:21,723
隨便你在任何其他時候指出我的問題

232
00:11:21,723 --> 00:11:24,768
但現在我需要無條件的支持

233
00:11:24,768 --> 00:11:27,563
想你虛偽地讚我幾句

234
00:11:27,563 --> 00:11:28,981
當我看似胡思亂想時

235
00:11:28,981 --> 00:11:31,316
收到,我有時很難頂

236
00:11:31,817 --> 00:11:33,318
所以只有石頭跟我做朋友

237
00:11:33,318 --> 00:11:35,445
但我很多謝你陪我來,知道嗎?

238
00:11:36,530 --> 00:11:38,532
老實講,自從離婚後,我再沒見過尼高

239
00:11:38,532 --> 00:11:40,075
若他嬲我出現,點算?

240
00:11:40,075 --> 00:11:42,202
若我們當眾大吵大鬧,點算?

241
00:11:42,202 --> 00:11:43,954
你好靚

242
00:11:43,954 --> 00:11:46,874
唏,講得好,你學得真快

243
00:11:47,958 --> 00:11:49,209
她的人魚線好正

244
00:11:49,209 --> 00:11:51,211
沒錯,但她無頭

245
00:11:51,211 --> 00:11:53,172
若有那樣的人魚線,我願意變無頭

246
00:12:04,600 --> 00:12:06,351
唏,占美,你做了甚麼好事?

247
00:12:06,351 --> 00:12:07,603
何出此言?

248
00:12:07,603 --> 00:12:09,313
因為你經常闖禍

249
00:12:09,313 --> 00:12:12,524
有道理,但或者這次我只想打聲招呼

250
00:12:12,524 --> 00:12:13,442
是嗎?

251
00:12:13,442 --> 00:12:16,403
不是,我個女和部車不見了

252
00:12:16,403 --> 00:12:19,114
你今日見過她,對吧?知道她會去邊嗎?

253
00:12:21,533 --> 00:12:22,618
弊了

254
00:12:25,287 --> 00:12:28,207
其實你不用跟來,保羅,只是幾分鐘車程

255
00:12:28,749 --> 00:12:33,337
當然要,這宗花園派對事件是我的錯

256
00:12:34,046 --> 00:12:36,131
我今次變成占美了

257
00:12:36,798 --> 00:12:38,967
甚麼?
-搞亂檔的那個

258
00:12:38,967 --> 00:12:39,885
有道理

259
00:12:39,885 --> 00:12:41,720
“有道理”?搞錯?

260
00:12:42,346 --> 00:12:45,182
我為女兒的事不開心,拿愛麗斯來出氣

261
00:12:45,182 --> 00:12:47,059
是治療師的重罪

262
00:12:47,059 --> 00:12:50,562
別這樣,你今日倒霉而已,我就經常倒霉

263
00:12:51,355 --> 00:12:54,983
有次我叫病人自慰來減壓,而不是冥想

264
00:12:54,983 --> 00:12:56,443
兩樣都得

265
00:12:59,029 --> 00:13:00,364
奇雲怎會在這裏?

266
00:13:00,906 --> 00:13:04,243
這部車是我的,你可能想知我為何在後座

267
00:13:04,243 --> 00:13:06,662
可能是因為自尊心問題吧
-你覺得是嗎?

268
00:13:06,662 --> 00:13:10,123
他剛才在我家,因為他有事要跟我講

269
00:13:10,123 --> 00:13:12,292
是甚麼事?
-算吧,專心找愛麗斯吧

270
00:13:12,292 --> 00:13:13,502
怎麼了?是壞消息?

271
00:13:13,502 --> 00:13:15,754
當然不是

272
00:13:15,754 --> 00:13:17,047
肯定是壞消息

273
00:13:17,047 --> 00:13:18,924
來吧,有話直說

274
00:13:20,509 --> 00:13:24,513
好吧,我不想你做我們的證婚人

275
00:13:29,434 --> 00:13:32,437
點解要在這個時候講我知?

276
00:13:32,437 --> 00:13:37,526
是你叫的,占美
你在我們的訂婚派對發癲

277
00:13:37,526 --> 00:13:40,028
肯定捱不過整場婚禮

278
00:13:40,028 --> 00:13:42,698
我沒有發癲,聽到未?

279
00:13:43,490 --> 00:13:46,577
可惡,沒錯,我有,算吧,可惡

280
00:13:46,577 --> 00:13:49,496
老友,抱歉,小事一宗而已

281
00:13:49,496 --> 00:13:51,290
保羅,是很小事,對吧?

282
00:13:51,290 --> 00:13:53,959
我還以為你們很老友

283
00:14:02,301 --> 00:14:04,011
嘩,你真的很憎這幅畫

284
00:14:05,387 --> 00:14:08,599
不,是憎自己的表情

285
00:14:08,599 --> 00:14:09,766
我其實很...

286
00:14:10,851 --> 00:14:12,102
很鍾意這幅畫

287
00:14:12,686 --> 00:14:14,938
我是雅莉亞,其實這間畫廊是我的

288
00:14:14,938 --> 00:14:17,941
好極,我叫嘉比,幸會
-對,幸會,嘉比

289
00:14:18,692 --> 00:14:20,235
你為何在批判自己?嘉比

290
00:14:20,235 --> 00:14:24,156
我只是把前度的需要看得太重

291
00:14:24,156 --> 00:14:25,657
而不懂照顧自己

292
00:14:25,657 --> 00:14:27,659
明白,我了解
-明白嗎?對

293
00:14:27,659 --> 00:14:31,330
或者能安慰你,我鍾意拯救
每個我遇上的受傷男人

294
00:14:31,914 --> 00:14:33,248
即使他們不想我這樣做

295
00:14:34,333 --> 00:14:35,375
有時更偷走我的東西

296
00:14:35,375 --> 00:14:37,836
慘了,對,天啊
-對

297
00:14:37,836 --> 00:14:40,297
你真是災難
-過獎了,感激不盡

298
00:14:41,590 --> 00:14:44,843
我要去看看畫家會否現身

299
00:14:44,843 --> 00:14:46,595
總之,很高興認識你
-我也是

300
00:14:46,595 --> 00:14:48,096
遲些再見
-好啊

301
00:14:51,725 --> 00:14:53,310
亂畫一通
-別這樣

302
00:14:53,310 --> 00:14:55,479
你去了邊?
-我一直都在,剛識了新朋友

303
00:14:55,479 --> 00:14:56,480
是她嗎?

304
00:14:57,731 --> 00:14:58,732
唏,停手

305
00:14:59,274 --> 00:15:00,359
她想跟你上床嗎?

306
00:15:00,359 --> 00:15:01,818
天啊,我未知

307
00:15:03,320 --> 00:15:05,322
好吧,他們可能會在涼亭

308
00:15:06,907 --> 00:15:08,242
你覺得他還嬲我嗎?

309
00:15:09,326 --> 00:15:12,371
超過八分鐘了,他可能已忘記

310
00:15:13,539 --> 00:15:16,291
天啊
-天啊,是孔雀嗎?

311
00:15:16,291 --> 00:15:17,876
這公園的奇獸真多

312
00:15:21,338 --> 00:15:24,049
等等,孔雀開屏是甚麼意思?

313
00:15:24,049 --> 00:15:26,844
不記得了,可能想襲擊或想搞我們

314
00:15:26,844 --> 00:15:28,345
我兩樣都不想

315
00:15:28,345 --> 00:15:30,472
我們要分散牠的注意力

316
00:15:30,472 --> 00:15:32,391
我自願做貢品

317
00:15:32,391 --> 00:15:34,726
變單眼佬都無所謂,只要你原諒我

318
00:15:34,726 --> 00:15:39,773
聽住,我自知闖禍了,我只是很期待而已

319
00:15:39,773 --> 00:15:41,984
抱歉,我做不到

320
00:15:42,651 --> 00:15:45,153
我真的很想那天完美...

321
00:15:48,282 --> 00:15:49,616
抱歉,剛才太悶

322
00:15:51,326 --> 00:15:53,412
好吧,我們繼續行吧,好

323
00:15:56,123 --> 00:15:57,457
那麼,你搵工進展如何?

324
00:16:00,169 --> 00:16:03,797
幾乎跟這塊迷你蟹餅一樣差
很難食啊,試一口

325
00:16:03,797 --> 00:16:06,633
你真識推銷,阿桑,我不食

326
00:16:07,676 --> 00:16:08,969
我煮會好味得多

327
00:16:08,969 --> 00:16:10,929
老實講,我想做到會服務

328
00:16:10,929 --> 00:16:13,265
但在帕莎甸娜有幾百萬間

329
00:16:13,265 --> 00:16:16,351
對,但你有賣點,你不只是廚藝了得

330
00:16:16,351 --> 00:16:19,646
我所有白鴿眼朋友一定會很想講

331
00:16:19,646 --> 00:16:23,066
“我們的到會廚師是年輕黑人退役軍人
我發掘了他,他超正”

332
00:16:23,066 --> 00:16:25,444
你有很多白鴿眼朋友?
-這就是我的圈子

333
00:16:25,444 --> 00:16:26,528
唏,兩位

334
00:16:27,571 --> 00:16:29,615
可以改名為“白人內疚感”到會服務

335
00:16:30,115 --> 00:16:31,200
我投資

336
00:16:32,993 --> 00:16:34,077
你們見到這幅畫嗎?

337
00:16:34,077 --> 00:16:35,454
亂畫一通

338
00:16:36,079 --> 00:16:37,497
對,畫中人是我

339
00:16:38,248 --> 00:16:39,416
不錯啊,對
-不錯啊

340
00:16:43,712 --> 00:16:45,172
討厭的孔雀

341
00:16:48,926 --> 00:16:51,094
各位,別這樣
我講過不准吸毒,吸毒是錯的

342
00:16:51,678 --> 00:16:53,722
唏,心瑪
-嗨,萊德先生

343
00:16:55,098 --> 00:16:56,099
愛麗斯在嗎?

344
00:16:56,099 --> 00:16:59,436
她放我飛機,真可惜,她錯過了狂野派對

345
00:16:59,436 --> 00:17:02,231
是嗎?他正在手機玩猜字遊戲

346
00:17:02,814 --> 00:17:04,691
唏,她去了邊?

347
00:17:04,691 --> 00:17:06,568
不知道,抱歉

348
00:17:06,568 --> 00:17:07,569
她講大話

349
00:17:07,569 --> 00:17:10,030
對,我以前見過心瑪了,保羅
-對

350
00:17:10,030 --> 00:17:10,989
好吧

351
00:17:18,955 --> 00:17:20,123
好吧,你聽清楚

352
00:17:21,666 --> 00:17:24,169
我知道愛麗斯跟你一起時,我沒有太擔心

353
00:17:25,963 --> 00:17:27,881
她開走了我部車也沒所謂

354
00:17:27,881 --> 00:17:29,633
知道點解嗎?因為她識開車

355
00:17:30,968 --> 00:17:32,594
她考車牌時,是我教她的

356
00:17:33,637 --> 00:17:37,057
但她一直考不到車牌
因為她媽媽出了意外

357
00:17:39,226 --> 00:17:41,061
我可能早應該逼她考車牌

358
00:17:42,563 --> 00:17:43,814
但我一直神不守舍

359
00:17:44,940 --> 00:17:49,444
老實講,若我還是很麻木和沒用心
我應該會好受得多

360
00:17:52,573 --> 00:17:53,574
但現在我有用心

361
00:17:56,159 --> 00:17:58,912
我個女不在,我真的很擔心她

362
00:18:03,292 --> 00:18:06,044
不如你幫幫忙,話我知她到底去了邊吧

363
00:18:07,504 --> 00:18:08,797
她去了南加州大學

364
00:18:10,340 --> 00:18:13,969
弊了,她講過結識了
一個開綿羊仔的大學生

365
00:18:15,220 --> 00:18:16,388
不要選綿羊仔男吧?

366
00:18:16,388 --> 00:18:17,556
沒錯,我跟她講過了

367
00:18:17,556 --> 00:18:18,765
她傳了地址給我

368
00:18:18,765 --> 00:18:21,059
若他殺了她,她想我們知道地址

369
00:18:21,059 --> 00:18:22,686
以備我們要找她的屍體
-好吧

370
00:18:23,395 --> 00:18:25,772
好吧,現在我很緊張

371
00:18:26,982 --> 00:18:28,358
不用了,老友

372
00:18:30,485 --> 00:18:31,320
對,走吧

373
00:18:31,820 --> 00:18:33,530
唏,你們識路克嗎?路克在嗎?

374
00:18:34,448 --> 00:18:36,742
別再妄想跟英語老師上床了

375
00:18:41,163 --> 00:18:42,873
你要忘記她了

376
00:18:44,208 --> 00:18:46,418
是我,你們看不出來嗎?

377
00:18:46,919 --> 00:18:48,754
不能怪我們,它的頭是三角形

378
00:18:48,754 --> 00:18:50,589
這幅畫叫《梳化上的靈感女神》

379
00:18:50,589 --> 00:18:53,258
我是治療師,治療師坐在甚麼?

380
00:18:54,134 --> 00:18:54,968
梳化

381
00:18:54,968 --> 00:18:58,847
況且我是靈感女神,到處給人靈感

382
00:18:58,847 --> 00:19:01,016
周圍都有我帶來的靈感
-沒錯

383
00:19:02,226 --> 00:19:03,227
唏,嘉比

384
00:19:03,894 --> 00:19:05,687
嗨,尼高

385
00:19:06,855 --> 00:19:10,943
嗨,幸會,我叫麗絲
聽過很多關於你的事

386
00:19:10,943 --> 00:19:13,570
甚麼?沒有很多,只是正常份量

387
00:19:13,570 --> 00:19:14,905
對,是我講錯
-我叫阿桑

388
00:19:14,905 --> 00:19:16,865
唏
-剛才見到門口那個牌才聽聞你個名

389
00:19:17,366 --> 00:19:18,367
兩位,幸會

390
00:19:18,367 --> 00:19:21,954
走吧,我比你更識在適當時機走人

391
00:19:21,954 --> 00:19:23,372
我知,不是我的強項

392
00:19:25,123 --> 00:19:26,250
很奇怪
-對

393
00:19:27,209 --> 00:19:30,963
對,其實我想你來,但覺得你不會來

394
00:19:30,963 --> 00:19:34,925
其實我沒有被邀請,但我還是來了

395
00:19:34,925 --> 00:19:37,511
不,我很高興你來了
若你不在,感覺總是怪怪的

396
00:19:38,470 --> 00:19:40,347
況且我想你見到我好得多了

397
00:19:41,890 --> 00:19:42,891
我以你為榮

398
00:19:43,642 --> 00:19:44,643
我要繼續招呼來賓

399
00:19:44,643 --> 00:19:46,603
去開工吧,繼續跟其他人打招呼

400
00:19:53,485 --> 00:19:55,487
天啊,這些後生仔看上去很年輕

401
00:19:56,113 --> 00:19:57,698
我們這年紀看人人都很年輕

402
00:19:58,782 --> 00:20:01,285
我們這年紀?我們不是同齡的

403
00:20:01,910 --> 00:20:04,997
好吧,是這裏了,兩位
聽住,我想嚇到這個細路甩褲

404
00:20:04,997 --> 00:20:07,207
我們要裝出惡霸的表情

405
00:20:07,207 --> 00:20:08,542
最不似樣的是你

406
00:20:09,168 --> 00:20:11,003
我知,我在培養情緒,保羅

407
00:20:16,466 --> 00:20:17,384
你就是阿哲吧?

408
00:20:18,468 --> 00:20:19,761
愛麗斯在哪裏?

409
00:20:20,345 --> 00:20:22,014
似乎是你的爺爺和爸爸們來了

410
00:20:23,557 --> 00:20:25,517
天啊,你們怎會找到我?

411
00:20:25,517 --> 00:20:27,019
遲些再詳談,走吧

412
00:20:27,769 --> 00:20:29,605
我是律師,你知道她未成年吧?

413
00:20:29,605 --> 00:20:33,442
不,你說你19歲
-錯了,她12歲

414
00:20:33,442 --> 00:20:35,235
甚麼?
-我不是12歲

415
00:20:40,073 --> 00:20:41,074
保羅,你走未?

416
00:20:41,658 --> 00:20:43,827
我還未嚇完他

417
00:20:50,042 --> 00:20:52,586
這就對了,晚安,阿哲

418
00:20:55,005 --> 00:20:56,048
麻煩你,謝謝

419
00:20:58,383 --> 00:20:59,259
有汽蘋果汁?

420
00:20:59,259 --> 00:21:00,594
這似乎是零酒精場合

421
00:21:00,594 --> 00:21:02,513
豈有此理

422
00:21:03,180 --> 00:21:04,681
抱歉,但是看看他

423
00:21:05,807 --> 00:21:08,143
他不僅過得還可以,而且過得很好

424
00:21:08,143 --> 00:21:09,228
所以你不高興?

425
00:21:09,228 --> 00:21:11,230
對,解釋給他聽

426
00:21:11,813 --> 00:21:14,441
她很嬲啊,阿桑,你怎會不明白?

427
00:21:14,441 --> 00:21:17,611
我費盡了心思,阿桑,足足八年

428
00:21:17,611 --> 00:21:18,654
足足八年啊,阿桑

429
00:21:18,654 --> 00:21:21,907
我們分開了,然後他選擇
在這時候處於最佳狀態?

430
00:21:23,450 --> 00:21:25,327
我明白了,很合理

431
00:21:25,327 --> 00:21:27,788
你之前不知我為何嬲,只是附和我?

432
00:21:29,289 --> 00:21:30,123
愛你

433
00:21:30,123 --> 00:21:32,876
愛你
-好吧,現在我明白了,尼高是衰人

434
00:21:32,876 --> 00:21:33,961
尼高是衰人

435
00:21:33,961 --> 00:21:36,255
不,阿桑,尼高是好人

436
00:21:36,255 --> 00:21:37,965
對,阿桑,你真蠢

437
00:21:37,965 --> 00:21:39,883
好吧,五分鐘後回來,或者十分鐘

438
00:21:40,509 --> 00:21:43,387
我在做甚麼?我應該開心他振作起來

439
00:21:44,096 --> 00:21:46,390
我不能餘生都做個小器婆娘,你懂嗎?

440
00:21:46,390 --> 00:21:47,808
享受做一晚吧

441
00:21:48,475 --> 00:21:51,144
唏,各位,很多謝你們今晚出席

442
00:21:51,144 --> 00:21:53,355
是真的,衷心感謝,我很感動

443
00:21:53,355 --> 00:21:57,067
我的朋友、同僚、摯愛和帶了銀包來的人

444
00:21:58,694 --> 00:22:01,071
尤其是幫助我登上這位置的那些人

445
00:22:05,284 --> 00:22:06,285
可惡

446
00:22:14,543 --> 00:22:16,128
她在車上一言不發?

447
00:22:17,045 --> 00:22:18,589
沒錯,半句都無

448
00:22:19,214 --> 00:22:24,303
天啊,老實講
舊時我老爸總是黑口黑面,很可怕

449
00:22:24,303 --> 00:22:26,388
不可能
-別講笑了

450
00:22:26,388 --> 00:22:31,018
若我做了愛麗斯今晚的所為
我一定會大禍臨頭

451
00:22:31,894 --> 00:22:33,395
她會怎樣受罰?

452
00:22:33,395 --> 00:22:36,940
不會受罰, 占美會放過她

453
00:22:37,608 --> 00:22:39,067
別這樣講,你根本不知道

454
00:22:39,067 --> 00:22:40,152
我知道啊

455
00:22:42,446 --> 00:22:44,531
你闖過太多次禍

456
00:22:44,531 --> 00:22:47,075
你覺得無權嬲任何人

457
00:22:47,659 --> 00:22:48,911
天啊,看看他

458
00:22:49,453 --> 00:22:52,206
你很嬲他,但他在飲你的啤酒

459
00:22:52,748 --> 00:22:54,750
這支啤酒很好飲,是甚麼?印度淡啤?

460
00:22:57,461 --> 00:22:58,295
輕輕篤

461
00:22:58,879 --> 00:22:59,713
輕輕篤?

462
00:22:59,713 --> 00:23:01,089
對,輕輕篤

463
00:23:01,089 --> 00:23:02,674
輕輕篤?
-對,輕輕篤

464
00:23:03,175 --> 00:23:06,428
聽住,老友,你令我傷心,我需要點時間

465
00:23:08,639 --> 00:23:10,933
你現在得戚吧?
-經常都是

466
00:23:10,933 --> 00:23:12,392
對,晚安了,拜仁

467
00:23:13,519 --> 00:23:15,145
好吧,對

468
00:23:16,730 --> 00:23:17,814
我可否...
-拜仁,晚安

469
00:23:17,814 --> 00:23:18,899
好吧

470
00:23:19,816 --> 00:23:21,652
輕輕篤?誰會那樣講?

471
00:23:25,030 --> 00:23:26,657
好吧
-感覺如何?

472
00:23:26,657 --> 00:23:29,535
對,感覺很正
但是因為我自知和他會和好

473
00:23:29,535 --> 00:23:32,079
跟愛麗斯就不同了,我們的關係危危乎

474
00:23:32,746 --> 00:23:33,956
別再找藉口了

475
00:23:34,790 --> 00:23:37,251
這話題真難啟齒,保羅
你跟美格還好吧?

476
00:23:41,547 --> 00:23:42,548
慘不忍睹

477
00:23:43,507 --> 00:23:44,508
真替你難過

478
00:23:44,508 --> 00:23:50,013
我也想能夠再次做她的爸爸
但你跟愛麗斯還有機會

479
00:23:50,722 --> 00:23:52,307
但你不能再做懦夫

480
00:23:53,016 --> 00:23:56,812
給點嚴父風範吧,她會感激你的

481
00:23:57,396 --> 00:23:58,397
她才不會

482
00:24:00,524 --> 00:24:01,525
或者吧

483
00:24:04,152 --> 00:24:06,196
但你會對自己很滿意

484
00:24:06,905 --> 00:24:09,616
知道點解嗎?因為是你的分內事

485
00:24:12,119 --> 00:24:15,706
不過,唏,我識條鐵?

486
00:24:19,710 --> 00:24:21,503
有人要車我回家

487
00:24:25,716 --> 00:24:27,009
這裏只得我,保羅

488
00:24:27,009 --> 00:24:28,093
你要車我

489
00:24:29,052 --> 00:24:30,387
我要去講拜拜

490
00:24:30,387 --> 00:24:32,222
我們撐你
-謝謝

491
00:24:32,222 --> 00:24:34,808
老實講,我有今天要多謝一個人

492
00:24:35,601 --> 00:24:38,020
或者聽似很老套,但她是我的靈感女神

493
00:24:40,147 --> 00:24:42,232
一講曹操
-你在講我嗎?

494
00:24:42,232 --> 00:24:43,317
可能吧

495
00:24:46,403 --> 00:24:48,030
老實講,有點尷尬

496
00:24:48,030 --> 00:24:51,825
但尼高說這幅畫裏的是我

497
00:24:53,619 --> 00:24:54,620
準備好走未?

498
00:24:55,454 --> 00:24:56,538
未得
-大鑊

499
00:24:57,206 --> 00:24:59,708
唏,尼高,嗨

500
00:25:00,250 --> 00:25:02,920
畫中人是我

501
00:25:02,920 --> 00:25:07,758
《梳化上的靈感女神》是我
留心看,這是甚麼?

502
00:25:08,634 --> 00:25:10,344
你看,是雀斑

503
00:25:10,344 --> 00:25:15,349
你是知道的,我們做愛這麼多次,而且...

504
00:25:15,349 --> 00:25:18,018
麗絲,請幫幫我
-我來幫你

505
00:25:19,645 --> 00:25:22,814
是雀斑,那裏有雀斑,是我

506
00:25:22,814 --> 00:25:28,070
這裏有雀斑,那裏有雀斑...畫中人是我

507
00:25:28,737 --> 00:25:31,615
雅莉亞,抱歉,你要見到我這一面

508
00:25:31,615 --> 00:25:34,034
我覺得你很有型,你套衫好靚

509
00:25:34,034 --> 00:25:36,703
我超鍾意你的耳環
你身上所有東西都超正

510
00:25:36,703 --> 00:25:38,163
晚安,謝謝
-離譜

511
00:25:38,163 --> 00:25:40,415
我話你知,我不應這樣做,但我會照做

512
00:25:40,415 --> 00:25:41,333
不要

513
00:25:41,333 --> 00:25:42,918
我不會嘲笑他的癖好,但可能會

514
00:25:42,918 --> 00:25:45,212
不要
-他鍾意被指插屁股

515
00:25:45,212 --> 00:25:47,714
好吧
-那也是我要做的事

516
00:25:47,714 --> 00:25:49,049
我指插他的屁股

517
00:25:49,049 --> 00:25:50,717
很高興認識你們
-他超鍾意

518
00:25:50,717 --> 00:25:53,011
有時我要插兩隻手指入他的屁股

519
00:25:53,011 --> 00:25:57,057
然後他說:“加碼...我想加碼”
-謝謝,抱歉,今晚好正

520
00:25:57,057 --> 00:26:00,644
好正,我的意思是
你們真的搞得有聲有色

521
00:26:00,644 --> 00:26:02,229
這畫家鍾意玩屁股

522
00:26:03,856 --> 00:26:05,732
唏,你出去很久

523
00:26:05,732 --> 00:26:07,401
對,我要去...

524
00:26:07,401 --> 00:26:10,404
三個油站替保羅找好玩棒棒糖

525
00:26:11,071 --> 00:26:14,491
他現在好似道友,不斷話要找棒

526
00:26:14,491 --> 00:26:20,038
對,是我不錯,整晚都是我錯

527
00:26:21,540 --> 00:26:23,542
抱歉,不會有下次

528
00:26:32,801 --> 00:26:38,390
沒錯,至少有兩個月不會
因為你被禁足了

529
00:26:39,349 --> 00:26:42,227
禁足?別講笑了

530
00:26:42,936 --> 00:26:43,770
你試試吧

531
00:26:43,770 --> 00:26:48,442
你不能禁我足,你爛泥了足足一年

532
00:26:48,442 --> 00:26:49,860
好吧,我講你知

533
00:26:49,860 --> 00:26:53,989
可能吧,但養家的是我,規矩由我來定

534
00:26:53,989 --> 00:26:57,743
從現在開始,你可以返學和去練足球

535
00:26:57,743 --> 00:26:59,411
然後就回家,不准去任何地方

536
00:26:59,411 --> 00:27:01,538
我下週要去和風早餐

537
00:27:01,538 --> 00:27:03,582
你恐怕要留在家食了

538
00:27:03,582 --> 00:27:05,542
是樂隊啊,衰人

539
00:27:05,542 --> 00:27:08,420
有這種怪名,一定很正吧

540
00:27:08,420 --> 00:27:11,507
沒錯,我話你知,媽媽一定不會這樣對我

541
00:27:11,507 --> 00:27:12,591
她一定會

542
00:27:14,510 --> 00:27:16,386
她一定會,你心知肚明

543
00:27:19,473 --> 00:27:21,058
我憎死你

544
00:27:26,813 --> 00:27:28,565
對,我愛死你

545
00:28:31,628 --> 00:28:33,630
字幕翻譯:尹寶燕