1
00:00:05,297 --> 00:00:06,465
似乎很好味

2
00:00:07,132 --> 00:00:08,634
別旨意,不是給你的

3
00:00:09,134 --> 00:00:11,261
真刻薄,我很餓啊

4
00:00:11,845 --> 00:00:13,680
快做好了

5
00:00:13,680 --> 00:00:17,351
這份炸蝦三文治是送去報答麗絲投資

6
00:00:17,351 --> 00:00:18,936
兩萬美元不是小數目

7
00:00:19,520 --> 00:00:21,980
對麗絲來說是的,她的馬桶值八千美元

8
00:00:21,980 --> 00:00:23,732
它會“點屎成金”嗎?

9
00:00:23,732 --> 00:00:25,609
不會,但有保暖廁所板

10
00:00:25,609 --> 00:00:27,819
你肯定不會信,你的屁股會有幾爽

11
00:00:28,820 --> 00:00:30,989
我成世人從未試過如此不自在

12
00:00:30,989 --> 00:00:32,448
爸爸,搞錯啊?

13
00:00:33,242 --> 00:00:34,076
快點逃走吧

14
00:00:34,660 --> 00:00:35,494
-祝你好運
-好

15
00:00:35,494 --> 00:00:37,329
你到底有無搞錯?

16
00:00:37,913 --> 00:00:41,124
喂,若你嬲是因為晨早流流
成間屋都有陣蝦味...

17
00:00:41,124 --> 00:00:42,543
媽媽的東西去了邊?

18
00:00:43,126 --> 00:00:45,587
我找不到她的衣服、相簿,甚麼都無

19
00:00:47,047 --> 00:00:48,465
我一直想跟你談此事

20
00:00:50,217 --> 00:00:52,052
等等,你不再戴婚戒?

21
00:00:53,303 --> 00:00:55,264
沒錯,我知很奇怪

22
00:00:56,473 --> 00:00:57,808
聽我講,乖女,過去一年

23
00:00:57,808 --> 00:01:00,435
我一直覺得無法往前走

24
00:01:01,562 --> 00:01:06,984
我開始覺得或者對我來講是時候了

25
00:01:08,485 --> 00:01:09,570
這樣講合理嗎?

26
00:01:10,696 --> 00:01:12,447
因為要忘記過去,對吧?

27
00:01:13,574 --> 00:01:16,201
你正一自私精

28
00:01:22,249 --> 00:01:23,375
她明白的

29
00:01:29,882 --> 00:01:33,302
真是離譜,你衰到無朋友

30
00:01:33,302 --> 00:01:35,387
出自麗絲口中,是指“很好味”嗎?

31
00:01:35,387 --> 00:01:36,680
-對
-正是

32
00:01:36,680 --> 00:01:37,931
-沒錯
-好嘢

33
00:01:38,432 --> 00:01:41,059
自從上次去巴塞隆拿
我就未食過如此好味的蝦

34
00:01:41,059 --> 00:01:42,519
戴力,絕對不行

35
00:01:42,519 --> 00:01:43,937
-他們是這樣講的
-天啊

36
00:01:43,937 --> 00:01:47,274
我只想多謝你投資

37
00:01:47,274 --> 00:01:48,192
可以多謝他嗎?

38
00:01:49,109 --> 00:01:51,820
理論上也是他的錢

39
00:01:51,820 --> 00:01:54,156
我分一杯羹,是因為我養育兒子

40
00:01:54,156 --> 00:01:55,532
而且我是性愛高手

41
00:01:55,532 --> 00:01:58,702
沒錯,我話你知,她不是只識打磨石頭的

42
00:01:58,702 --> 00:01:59,703
真是尷尬

43
00:01:59,703 --> 00:02:01,705
好吧,我要去物色美食車

44
00:02:01,705 --> 00:02:02,831
遲些再向你們匯報吧

45
00:02:02,831 --> 00:02:03,749
-祝你好運
-對

46
00:02:04,333 --> 00:02:05,709
嘩,真好味

47
00:02:07,377 --> 00:02:08,628
點樣?

48
00:02:08,628 --> 00:02:11,006
我想去看美食車

49
00:02:11,006 --> 00:02:13,634
我想挑選和駕駛美食車

50
00:02:13,634 --> 00:02:15,886
我要大大聲按響咹,發出“咇咇聲”

51
00:02:15,886 --> 00:02:17,262
你為何不講他知?

52
00:02:18,222 --> 00:02:19,973
-我做不到
-點解?

53
00:02:19,973 --> 00:02:23,393
你愛我,所以你不以為然,我有時很惡頂

54
00:02:23,393 --> 00:02:25,562
-不會
-夠了

55
00:02:25,562 --> 00:02:30,484
但這是他的夢想,他不想我在旁指點

56
00:02:30,484 --> 00:02:34,071
這樣講會有幫助嗎?我經常想你在旁指點

57
00:02:37,741 --> 00:02:38,951
不,反而更差

58
00:02:38,951 --> 00:02:39,868
對,我也知

59
00:02:39,868 --> 00:02:42,079
-稍後快快手做愛?
-好啊,寶貝

60
00:02:42,079 --> 00:02:43,747
我會快如閃電

61
00:02:45,541 --> 00:02:47,918
對,你學識了,很好食

62
00:02:47,918 --> 00:02:49,670
爸爸,不是吧?現在要食早餐

63
00:02:49,670 --> 00:02:50,921
你在做甚麼?

64
00:02:50,921 --> 00:02:52,214
做外公

65
00:02:52,214 --> 00:02:54,424
別理她們,她們只是妒忌

66
00:02:54,424 --> 00:02:55,968
-你覺得呢?
-好正

67
00:02:55,968 --> 00:02:57,469
第一包免費

68
00:03:00,347 --> 00:03:01,390
你的手為何在震?

69
00:03:04,393 --> 00:03:06,770
我有柏金遜症

70
00:03:10,065 --> 00:03:13,277
只是代表有時當我想做某動作時

71
00:03:13,277 --> 00:03:15,696
身體會做錯

72
00:03:16,530 --> 00:03:17,781
你會沒事嗎?

73
00:03:17,781 --> 00:03:19,241
會啊,對

74
00:03:19,825 --> 00:03:22,411
況且老實講,我可以擺脫不想做的事

75
00:03:22,411 --> 00:03:23,662
例如洗碗

76
00:03:23,662 --> 00:03:29,084
或者跟陌生人說話,或者微笑

77
00:03:29,084 --> 00:03:30,544
我有柏金遜症就好了

78
00:03:30,544 --> 00:03:32,462
夠了,真是多謝你啊,爸爸

79
00:03:32,462 --> 00:03:35,549
好消息是,我們會經常見到他

80
00:03:35,549 --> 00:03:37,509
當我不跟你們一齊時

81
00:03:37,509 --> 00:03:40,429
巴林醫生會幫我、照顧我

82
00:03:40,429 --> 00:03:42,055
你的醫生為何來了?

83
00:03:42,055 --> 00:03:43,724
因為我們有性關係

84
00:03:43,724 --> 00:03:45,100
-天啊,保羅
-玩夠了

85
00:04:12,044 --> 00:04:16,923
《誠實治療法》

86
00:04:17,798 --> 00:04:19,843
{\an8}對,然後她行落樓梯

87
00:04:19,843 --> 00:04:22,638
{\an8}問我減肥的原因

88
00:04:22,638 --> 00:04:24,264
{\an8}是否要再拍拖

89
00:04:25,140 --> 00:04:26,975
{\an8}真是傻妹,她讚你了

90
00:04:26,975 --> 00:04:29,269
{\an8}沒錯,我也只聽到那句,就是我英俊

91
00:04:29,853 --> 00:04:31,104
{\an8}那麼,你打算點做?

92
00:04:32,356 --> 00:04:34,858
{\an8}老實講我應該會受氣,直至她消氣

93
00:04:34,858 --> 00:04:37,486
{\an8}然後當她想要更多時,我會奉陪

94
00:04:38,779 --> 00:04:39,947
{\an8}你真是好爸爸

95
00:04:39,947 --> 00:04:42,074
{\an8}對,足足兩個禮拜

96
00:04:44,076 --> 00:04:46,995
{\an8}-拜仁赤裸上身的時代開始了
-沒錯

97
00:04:46,995 --> 00:04:50,582
{\an8}收緊肚皮就百分百達標
否則就是九成半吧

98
00:04:51,250 --> 00:04:53,043
{\an8}你爸會做伴郎嗎?

99
00:04:53,043 --> 00:04:54,628
{\an8}不,他要拒絕

100
00:04:56,213 --> 00:04:57,089
{\an8}要拒絕?

101
00:04:58,507 --> 00:05:00,050
{\an8}-可以不談嗎?
-好吧

102
00:05:01,093 --> 00:05:02,511
{\an8}我有很多其他選擇

103
00:05:02,511 --> 00:05:04,304
{\an8}最大的煩惱是要篩選

104
00:05:04,304 --> 00:05:06,139
{\an8}我不想得罪任何人

105
00:05:06,139 --> 00:05:09,226
{\an8}我令太多人以為是我最好的朋友

106
00:05:09,226 --> 00:05:10,435
{\an8}這是天賦

107
00:05:10,435 --> 00:05:13,146
{\an8}我要走了

108
00:05:13,146 --> 00:05:14,273
{\an8}好吧

109
00:05:14,273 --> 00:05:15,774
{\an8}-對,抱歉
-不緊要

110
00:05:15,774 --> 00:05:18,068
{\an8}等等,但你我是最好朋友,對吧?

111
00:05:18,068 --> 00:05:19,903
{\an8}在我生命中無人更重要

112
00:05:20,821 --> 00:05:21,822
{\an8}看到吧,你信了

113
00:05:22,489 --> 00:05:23,574
{\an8}你去死吧

114
00:05:34,543 --> 00:05:35,544
{\an8}甚麼事?

115
00:05:35,544 --> 00:05:39,131
{\an8}我不想只做阿桑的投資者
我想做他的拍檔

116
00:05:39,131 --> 00:05:41,091
{\an8}很明顯吧,你為何不直接講他知?

117
00:05:41,091 --> 00:05:44,219
{\an8}怎麼了?你怕會變成
《守護有心人》裏的珊卓布拉克?

118
00:05:44,219 --> 00:05:45,762
{\an8}去到邊都有人望住你講

119
00:05:45,762 --> 00:05:48,015
{\an8}“看看那個守護有心人女子,看看她...”

120
00:05:49,933 --> 00:05:55,189
{\an8}我只是覺得人們不夠鍾意我

121
00:05:56,315 --> 00:05:57,900
{\an8}不會跟我這樣合作

122
00:05:57,900 --> 00:05:58,817
{\an8}天啊

123
00:05:58,817 --> 00:06:01,570
{\an8}麗絲,我跟你消遣
不是為了做善事,明白未?

124
00:06:01,570 --> 00:06:03,572
{\an8}你好正,面對現實吧

125
00:06:03,572 --> 00:06:04,656
{\an8}謝謝

126
00:06:06,742 --> 00:06:08,368
{\an8}嘩,天啊

127
00:06:08,368 --> 00:06:12,122
對不起,我真的好鍾意聽人講多謝

128
00:06:13,457 --> 00:06:15,125
你為何在喘氣?你在跑步嗎?

129
00:06:15,709 --> 00:06:16,627
要收線了

130
00:06:22,799 --> 00:06:23,800
天啊

131
00:06:23,800 --> 00:06:26,512
-好嘢,好吧,我有用功的
-對

132
00:06:27,221 --> 00:06:29,181
-麗絲真的很難搞吧?
-絕對是

133
00:06:29,181 --> 00:06:31,558
她經常要人派定心丸

134
00:06:31,558 --> 00:06:33,143
對,好吧,輪到我未?

135
00:06:33,143 --> 00:06:34,561
不,我的短訊是寫

136
00:06:35,062 --> 00:06:36,522
“你想過來服侍我嗎?”

137
00:06:38,607 --> 00:06:39,983
算數,但我不會轉位

138
00:06:39,983 --> 00:06:41,610
-好吧
-好吧

139
00:06:41,610 --> 00:06:44,154
那麼,你們想再傾傾嗎?

140
00:06:44,154 --> 00:06:46,823
我會一口氣講完,因為我不鍾意示弱

141
00:06:46,823 --> 00:06:51,036
-我自知像杯濃咖啡
-我鍾意濃咖啡

142
00:06:51,036 --> 00:06:52,913
要你加把嘴時,我會單聲

143
00:06:52,913 --> 00:06:54,456
我誤會了,還以為你想被讚

144
00:06:55,207 --> 00:06:57,376
聽住,我朋友不多

145
00:06:57,376 --> 00:07:01,129
但跟我有交情的人,我會為他們兩脇插刀

146
00:07:01,129 --> 00:07:06,885
我很想參與你的公司運作

147
00:07:07,594 --> 00:07:11,723
不只是金錢上,是甚麼都參與

148
00:07:13,809 --> 00:07:15,394
我很想那樣做

149
00:07:16,311 --> 00:07:17,396
抱歉,你說甚麼?

150
00:07:17,396 --> 00:07:18,730
我很想那樣做

151
00:07:19,439 --> 00:07:20,858
等等,可以講多次嗎?

152
00:07:20,858 --> 00:07:22,985
我知你或者不想

153
00:07:22,985 --> 00:07:26,405
因為我有時很惡頂

154
00:07:26,405 --> 00:07:27,990
我知道的,我經常彈三彈四

155
00:07:27,990 --> 00:07:30,868
或者又靚又活潑

156
00:07:30,868 --> 00:07:33,871
我講過了,要你加把嘴時,我會單聲

157
00:07:33,871 --> 00:07:35,914
既然用不著我,我為何要在?

158
00:07:35,914 --> 00:07:37,666
我要阻止你講下去

159
00:07:37,666 --> 00:07:40,627
我還要去看美食車,想跟我一齊去嗎?

160
00:07:40,627 --> 00:07:41,837
真的嗎?

161
00:07:41,837 --> 00:07:42,880
沒錯

162
00:07:44,423 --> 00:07:45,424
謝謝

163
00:07:46,842 --> 00:07:49,428
出門口前,我可以借用洗手間嗎?

164
00:07:49,970 --> 00:07:52,639
可以,特別廁所在那邊

165
00:07:52,639 --> 00:07:53,682
多謝

166
00:07:56,810 --> 00:07:57,811
你沒事吧?

167
00:07:59,938 --> 00:08:02,858
你不開心是因為他對你很友善?

168
00:08:05,194 --> 00:08:06,195
過來吧

169
00:08:09,740 --> 00:08:12,409
-好吧,我沒事
-好吧

170
00:08:12,409 --> 00:08:13,952
-坐開一點吧
-知道

171
00:08:13,952 --> 00:08:15,329
這樣坐得很迫

172
00:08:17,497 --> 00:08:20,375
希望他鍾意那個暖股廁板吧

173
00:08:22,044 --> 00:08:23,837
大家可以聽我講幾句嗎?

174
00:08:24,463 --> 00:08:28,842
很多謝你們參加我的單身派對

175
00:08:28,842 --> 00:08:30,719
-你已搞過單身派對了
-我沒有

176
00:08:30,719 --> 00:08:32,261
上次沒邀請這裏很多人

177
00:08:32,261 --> 00:08:33,472
所以收聲吧

178
00:08:33,472 --> 00:08:36,850
我和拜仁和他的朋友去了脫衣舞男俱樂部

179
00:08:36,850 --> 00:08:39,311
-但不是為了慶祝
-沒錯

180
00:08:40,479 --> 00:08:44,024
好吧,我需要一名伴郎,或者伴娘都行

181
00:08:44,024 --> 00:08:45,108
哈囉

182
00:08:45,776 --> 00:08:50,405
今晚的好玩環節是一場小小的布袋球比賽

183
00:08:50,405 --> 00:08:51,532
冠軍就做伴郎

184
00:08:51,532 --> 00:08:53,492
-好嘢
-祝大家好運

185
00:08:53,492 --> 00:08:55,744
天啊,我即使贏了,也會讓位給“大力仔”

186
00:08:55,744 --> 00:08:57,871
因為他超興奮,我覺得很搞笑

187
00:08:57,871 --> 00:08:58,789
唏

188
00:08:58,789 --> 00:09:00,332
是不能轉讓的...

189
00:09:00,332 --> 00:09:01,250
別這樣吧

190
00:09:01,834 --> 00:09:05,212
阿金,可以傾兩句嗎?

191
00:09:05,212 --> 00:09:07,047
你想點?有話直說吧

192
00:09:07,047 --> 00:09:09,174
真對不起,我浪費時間講開場白

193
00:09:10,592 --> 00:09:12,135
我過去一年跌入低谷

194
00:09:13,720 --> 00:09:15,430
你個仔真的很撐我

195
00:09:15,430 --> 00:09:16,348
同感

196
00:09:16,348 --> 00:09:20,143
他根本不識我
但我差點打死人後,他令我不用坐監

197
00:09:21,270 --> 00:09:23,188
是好事,那人抵打的

198
00:09:25,232 --> 00:09:26,233
這樣就好了

199
00:09:26,233 --> 00:09:29,027
我想講的是,他總是支持我們

200
00:09:29,027 --> 00:09:33,073
你是時候支持他,做他的伴郎就夠了

201
00:09:36,535 --> 00:09:38,620
布袋球

202
00:09:39,705 --> 00:09:40,956
是拜仁掀起潮流的

203
00:09:40,956 --> 00:09:42,165
我不意外

204
00:09:43,417 --> 00:09:44,418
好嘢

205
00:09:47,921 --> 00:09:51,425
我只是覺得我會不自在

206
00:09:51,425 --> 00:09:54,845
我敢擔保,你不做就會後悔

207
00:09:56,555 --> 00:10:02,519
就當作是不識做老豆一萬倍的人講的忠告

208
00:10:04,813 --> 00:10:07,191
-好嘢...
-好嘢,第一次玩就贏了

209
00:10:07,191 --> 00:10:08,609
跟你的伴郎打招呼吧

210
00:10:08,609 --> 00:10:10,319
不行,麗絲老公,不可以

211
00:10:10,319 --> 00:10:11,361
-可以...
-可以

212
00:10:11,361 --> 00:10:13,697
-不,若你贏了,頂多只做接待員
-甚麼?

213
00:10:13,697 --> 00:10:16,408
你灌醉他吧,而你啊,給點力吧

214
00:10:16,408 --> 00:10:17,868
-別理他,知道點解嗎?
-點?

215
00:10:17,868 --> 00:10:19,536
因為戴郎要做伴郎

216
00:10:19,536 --> 00:10:22,706
因為戴郎要做伴郎...

217
00:10:22,706 --> 00:10:25,626
因為戴郎要做伴郎...

218
00:10:25,626 --> 00:10:27,461
搞錯,完全入腦了

219
00:10:32,799 --> 00:10:35,344
媽媽,我們在做甚麼?

220
00:10:37,054 --> 00:10:38,305
為何叫醒我?

221
00:10:38,305 --> 00:10:40,849
沒有好味零食,爸爸在嘗試健康飲食

222
00:10:40,849 --> 00:10:42,643
我知爸爸把好東西藏在哪裏

223
00:10:42,643 --> 00:10:43,769
登凳

224
00:10:44,937 --> 00:10:46,146
(薄荷朱古力碎雪糕)

225
00:10:46,146 --> 00:10:47,272
真是奸狡小人

226
00:10:47,272 --> 00:10:48,690
-同意
-我要拿匙羹

227
00:10:54,488 --> 00:10:55,864
你在做甚麼?

228
00:10:56,990 --> 00:10:58,158
{\an8}“你衰了,人渣”

229
00:11:02,079 --> 00:11:04,873
天啊,我們要食清光

230
00:11:04,873 --> 00:11:08,377
然後用雪糕筒裝滿羽衣甘藍

231
00:11:16,385 --> 00:11:17,302
唏

232
00:11:18,887 --> 00:11:19,888
早晨

233
00:11:27,187 --> 00:11:28,772
我記不起媽媽的笑聲

234
00:11:35,737 --> 00:11:37,406
我覺得對她的回憶...

235
00:11:39,408 --> 00:11:40,868
正逐漸消退

236
00:11:41,743 --> 00:11:42,744
我明白

237
00:11:44,121 --> 00:11:46,331
我以前應該給她更多時間

238
00:11:49,459 --> 00:11:50,794
我一直太忙了

239
00:11:53,922 --> 00:11:56,175
忙著做甚麼?跟心瑪去玩?

240
00:11:56,175 --> 00:11:58,343
你當時只是個細路女

241
00:12:00,012 --> 00:12:02,097
你很愛你媽

242
00:12:04,141 --> 00:12:05,225
她知道的

243
00:12:07,144 --> 00:12:08,187
你想談談嗎?

244
00:12:10,772 --> 00:12:14,109
我似乎在這方面很出色,別人會付錢給我

245
00:12:18,906 --> 00:12:21,033
你幾時想傾,我都奉陪,知道嗎?

246
00:12:21,533 --> 00:12:22,492
謝謝

247
00:12:25,370 --> 00:12:26,371
關燈

248
00:12:32,878 --> 00:12:33,879
好吧

249
00:12:39,343 --> 00:12:41,386
她還未聯絡過我

250
00:12:42,596 --> 00:12:44,473
若她找我,我通知你吧

251
00:12:46,183 --> 00:12:47,434
真令人無奈,老實講

252
00:12:47,434 --> 00:12:52,439
我有足夠訓練和經驗,卻感到很無助

253
00:12:52,439 --> 00:12:54,525
你應該印在卡片上

254
00:12:55,317 --> 00:12:56,318
沒錯

255
00:12:57,486 --> 00:13:00,614
我只是不想再破壞跟她的關係,你明嗎?

256
00:13:02,241 --> 00:13:03,283
你應付得來的

257
00:13:03,283 --> 00:13:04,576
謝謝

258
00:13:06,620 --> 00:13:08,121
你跟美格關係有改善,太好了

259
00:13:09,581 --> 00:13:10,749
怎麼了?不太順利嗎?

260
00:13:10,749 --> 00:13:14,336
不,我只是知你會點回應
我接著要講的說話

261
00:13:16,755 --> 00:13:17,756
是...

262
00:13:23,470 --> 00:13:24,972
是很愉快的探訪

263
00:13:25,848 --> 00:13:29,685
若沒有你就不會如此,所以多謝你,老友

264
00:13:29,685 --> 00:13:30,894
別客氣,保羅

265
00:13:33,689 --> 00:13:35,357
天啊,你認真的嗎?

266
00:13:35,357 --> 00:13:37,568
別囉唆吧,求求你

267
00:13:37,568 --> 00:13:38,735
好吧

268
00:13:41,613 --> 00:13:42,614
可惡

269
00:13:43,907 --> 00:13:44,908
我也愛你

270
00:13:45,534 --> 00:13:48,370
老公,我要去跟小嘉飲咖啡

271
00:13:48,370 --> 00:13:51,039
-她在占美家?
-不是,何出此言?

272
00:13:51,039 --> 00:13:53,083
我以前不知她會在他家過夜

273
00:13:53,083 --> 00:13:54,251
他們搭上了,所以...

274
00:13:54,251 --> 00:13:55,377
甚麼?

275
00:13:56,962 --> 00:13:58,046
我忘了講你知?

276
00:13:58,046 --> 00:13:59,965
我要殺死你

277
00:13:59,965 --> 00:14:01,383
你怎會知道?

278
00:14:01,383 --> 00:14:06,805
我在訂婚派對當晚見到他們上床

279
00:14:07,389 --> 00:14:08,891
足足一個月前

280
00:14:08,891 --> 00:14:11,810
沒錯,現在是誰後悔不在露台小便?

281
00:14:11,810 --> 00:14:12,811
無人後悔

282
00:14:12,811 --> 00:14:14,146
真的很性感

283
00:14:14,146 --> 00:14:15,522
我不是指占美

284
00:14:15,522 --> 00:14:18,817
但他的表現比我預期好得多,我以他為榮

285
00:14:18,817 --> 00:14:23,655
你見到他們,而你一直留在外面看?

286
00:14:23,655 --> 00:14:25,199
別這樣吧

287
00:14:25,199 --> 00:14:27,659
我應該點做?不看嗎?

288
00:14:28,577 --> 00:14:29,912
-有道理
-正是

289
00:14:29,912 --> 00:14:30,829
你有拍片嗎?

290
00:14:30,829 --> 00:14:31,997
我不是變態佬

291
00:14:33,081 --> 00:14:34,124
不用拍片吧

292
00:14:34,124 --> 00:14:37,336
真不敢相信她沒講我知,我很失望

293
00:14:38,170 --> 00:14:39,880
若你見到占美,記得恭喜他

294
00:14:39,880 --> 00:14:41,256
天啊

295
00:14:41,840 --> 00:14:43,342
他的屁股很正

296
00:14:44,134 --> 00:14:45,594
但應該多做深蹲

297
00:14:47,304 --> 00:14:49,139
-好吧
-天啊

298
00:14:49,681 --> 00:14:53,393
你也知道
我只把這些特別瑪瑙送給極少數的人

299
00:14:53,977 --> 00:14:57,856
他們無限量支持我,所以我歡迎他們

300
00:14:57,856 --> 00:15:00,067
加入我的石頭聯盟

301
00:15:00,067 --> 00:15:02,569
好吧,聽起來很似邪教,但我加入

302
00:15:02,569 --> 00:15:04,530
我要做甚麼?著長袍嗎?

303
00:15:04,530 --> 00:15:06,990
要劏山羊嗎?因為我樂意去做

304
00:15:06,990 --> 00:15:09,868
你甚麼都不用做,我只想你知我重視你

305
00:15:10,827 --> 00:15:11,828
未得

306
00:15:11,828 --> 00:15:12,746
別耍我吧

307
00:15:12,746 --> 00:15:14,790
你怎可以不講我知你搭上了占美?

308
00:15:14,790 --> 00:15:16,917
算數,好吧,可惡

309
00:15:16,917 --> 00:15:20,212
我搭上占美了,聽到未?我跟他上過床...

310
00:15:20,212 --> 00:15:21,505
講多些細節來聽

311
00:15:21,505 --> 00:15:25,717
真的超正,就好像瑪麗嘉兒唱到最高音

312
00:15:25,717 --> 00:15:26,802
不可能吧

313
00:15:26,802 --> 00:15:28,011
對,就好似...

314
00:15:30,472 --> 00:15:33,642
最正的是,他連我對胸都沒打

315
00:15:33,642 --> 00:15:34,810
誰會掌摑胸部?

316
00:15:34,810 --> 00:15:35,936
外面有很多人

317
00:15:35,936 --> 00:15:38,981
不知何故,現在很鍾意打胸,左右都打

318
00:15:38,981 --> 00:15:40,816
我敢寫包單,他們會猛拍和拳打胸

319
00:15:40,816 --> 00:15:42,651
我不知是否有人在連登寫過

320
00:15:42,651 --> 00:15:44,778
也不知他們從哪裏學

321
00:15:44,778 --> 00:15:46,780
但外面有很多人會打胸

322
00:15:46,780 --> 00:15:48,198
應該不是真的

323
00:15:48,198 --> 00:15:52,119
他對後庭無興趣,但我會培養他

324
00:15:52,119 --> 00:15:54,413
我把很多東西塞入戴力的屁股

325
00:15:55,122 --> 00:15:56,123
講大話

326
00:15:56,123 --> 00:15:57,791
我知,但我想就可以

327
00:15:57,791 --> 00:16:00,460
最正的是,他的陰莖絕對安全

328
00:16:01,587 --> 00:16:03,881
-安全的陰莖是最好的
-正是

329
00:16:04,590 --> 00:16:06,717
好吧,你實至名歸

330
00:16:08,594 --> 00:16:10,012
嘩,好吧,現在要點做?

331
00:16:10,012 --> 00:16:12,055
要有儀式嗎?要頌經嗎?

332
00:16:12,055 --> 00:16:13,724
不用,只代表我愛你

333
00:16:14,308 --> 00:16:15,309
愛你

334
00:16:17,477 --> 00:16:20,272
好吧,現在我們正式結為姐妹

335
00:16:20,272 --> 00:16:22,107
-屬於石頭聯盟
-是嗎?

336
00:16:22,608 --> 00:16:26,153
你可以幫我看看這封推薦信嗎?

337
00:16:26,737 --> 00:16:27,821
無問題,甚麼推薦信?

338
00:16:27,821 --> 00:16:29,531
是為了我很想要的一份工

339
00:16:29,531 --> 00:16:32,284
保羅叫我寫好就給他簽名

340
00:16:32,284 --> 00:16:35,162
我只想確保語氣似是怪脾氣的老白人

341
00:16:35,162 --> 00:16:38,749
等等,保羅認識你的面試官

342
00:16:38,749 --> 00:16:41,460
但他不親自寫信?

343
00:16:41,460 --> 00:16:42,628
很離譜,我知道

344
00:16:42,628 --> 00:16:44,129
我永遠不會送他石頭

345
00:16:45,214 --> 00:16:47,424
我仍會輕輕篤他,卜一聲

346
00:16:47,424 --> 00:16:49,801
因為大多數情況都可阻止他講廢話

347
00:16:50,385 --> 00:16:52,429
唯一的壞處是,現在我看得出

348
00:16:52,429 --> 00:16:54,681
這衰人一直在情緒暴力我

349
00:16:55,974 --> 00:17:00,229
老實講,以前當尼批評我時
我總覺得是自己問題

350
00:17:01,522 --> 00:17:04,608
但現在若他說:“你煮的蛋未夠熟”

351
00:17:04,608 --> 00:17:07,277
他應慶幸我們不是在懸崖食早餐

352
00:17:07,277 --> 00:17:09,738
因為我會推他落去,看著他爆頭

353
00:17:09,738 --> 00:17:11,949
然後心想:“你的腦漿才未夠熟,衰人”

354
00:17:11,949 --> 00:17:14,492
對了,姬絲,我一直就是這個意思

355
00:17:14,492 --> 00:17:18,247
推落懸崖、腦袋開花、食腦漿

356
00:17:20,499 --> 00:17:22,416
認真,看看現在的你,堅強得多了

357
00:17:23,335 --> 00:17:25,337
我以你為榮

358
00:17:27,089 --> 00:17:29,758
我不擅長有強烈的感覺

359
00:17:30,259 --> 00:17:33,720
但我喜歡開始在變的這個我

360
00:17:35,597 --> 00:17:37,474
而且我要多謝你

361
00:17:40,811 --> 00:17:41,937
樂意到極

362
00:17:46,942 --> 00:17:47,943
拜

363
00:17:53,365 --> 00:17:55,158
她個樣不似癲,她有幾癲?

364
00:17:55,158 --> 00:17:56,326
好嘢,麗絲來了

365
00:17:56,326 --> 00:17:58,537
好吧,聽住,我要你幫手找保羅晦氣

366
00:17:58,537 --> 00:17:59,454
點解?

367
00:17:59,454 --> 00:18:03,375
因為他得罪嘉比,那就是原因,準備好吧

368
00:18:04,918 --> 00:18:06,628
沒那麼容易,麗絲

369
00:18:08,130 --> 00:18:09,423
保羅和我剛擁抱過

370
00:18:10,007 --> 00:18:13,594
你有無搞錯?來吧,安全陰莖

371
00:18:14,428 --> 00:18:17,014
安全...你怎會知道?

372
00:18:21,435 --> 00:18:22,436
我們要談談

373
00:18:24,271 --> 00:18:26,231
你先當眾硬上我

374
00:18:26,231 --> 00:18:29,401
現在又衝入我辦公室,想在這裏硬上我?

375
00:18:29,985 --> 00:18:31,278
別再講“硬上”了

376
00:18:31,278 --> 00:18:32,779
我想講甚麼都可以

377
00:18:32,779 --> 00:18:34,698
講他知“硬上”點解吧

378
00:18:35,240 --> 00:18:36,575
不戴套做愛

379
00:18:38,160 --> 00:18:39,620
那麼我不再講吧

380
00:18:39,620 --> 00:18:42,247
嘉比託你寫推薦信

381
00:18:42,247 --> 00:18:44,499
你連自己寫都嫌麻煩?

382
00:18:45,083 --> 00:18:46,418
老友,我有壞消息

383
00:18:46,418 --> 00:18:48,837
-我送了石頭給她
-石頭?

384
00:18:48,837 --> 00:18:51,215
你覺得合邏輯嗎?

385
00:18:51,215 --> 00:18:54,343
你這個又懶又無良心的衰人

386
00:18:54,927 --> 00:18:56,386
占美也同意

387
00:18:56,386 --> 00:18:59,640
你覺得我又懶又無良心?

388
00:19:02,184 --> 00:19:04,520
-無膽鬼
-講得有道理

389
00:19:04,520 --> 00:19:07,272
因為你們擁抱過,他才會不出聲

390
00:19:13,737 --> 00:19:14,947
你講了給她知?

391
00:19:14,947 --> 00:19:16,031
聽我講

392
00:19:17,199 --> 00:19:20,619
你和我共事了五年,嘉比才加入

393
00:19:20,619 --> 00:19:22,746
我很感激你給我的指導

394
00:19:23,288 --> 00:19:25,040
但你沒給嘉比同樣的時間

395
00:19:25,040 --> 00:19:27,125
不過她還是凡事照顧你

396
00:19:27,125 --> 00:19:28,710
她給你那個水樽

397
00:19:28,710 --> 00:19:30,379
提你記得飲水

398
00:19:30,379 --> 00:19:31,588
她車你返工

399
00:19:31,588 --> 00:19:34,800
每日管接送

400
00:19:35,384 --> 00:19:38,595
聽住,保羅,你知我想講甚麼,你是...

401
00:19:38,595 --> 00:19:41,223
自負和重男輕女的人渣

402
00:19:41,223 --> 00:19:43,100
不如別再代我講說話吧

403
00:19:43,100 --> 00:19:44,977
但我沒講錯

404
00:19:44,977 --> 00:19:47,437
這個人只是輕度感冒

405
00:19:47,437 --> 00:19:50,482
你就送上紙巾和啤酒

406
00:19:51,275 --> 00:19:52,442
嘉比呢?

407
00:19:53,151 --> 00:19:54,152
她...

408
00:19:54,152 --> 00:19:55,529
補鑊吧

409
00:19:56,405 --> 00:19:57,447
無膽鬼

410
00:20:00,158 --> 00:20:05,747
哪會有人“攬完唱”?

411
00:20:06,331 --> 00:20:07,332
是我錯

412
00:20:24,850 --> 00:20:25,976
-嗨
-唏

413
00:20:26,810 --> 00:20:28,520
搞甚麼鬼?

414
00:20:28,520 --> 00:20:30,731
是你媽的東西,對

415
00:20:31,523 --> 00:20:33,233
純粹是我準備好擱置一旁

416
00:20:33,233 --> 00:20:35,319
不代表你都要,來吧

417
00:20:36,403 --> 00:20:37,529
對

418
00:20:38,614 --> 00:20:40,699
她超鍾意這條裙

419
00:20:40,699 --> 00:20:42,075
的確是

420
00:20:46,205 --> 00:20:49,499
{\an8}“跟亞洲人一齊過,就不會再揀白人”

421
00:20:51,293 --> 00:20:54,796
我們以前去行山
你媽經常著它來令我難堪

422
00:20:54,796 --> 00:20:56,465
我禮拜一要著返學

423
00:20:56,465 --> 00:20:58,342
我期待你校長打給我

424
00:20:59,510 --> 00:21:00,594
-唏
-唏

425
00:21:01,970 --> 00:21:03,305
最後一箱

426
00:21:05,641 --> 00:21:07,643
天啊,是她的超級索鞋

427
00:21:07,643 --> 00:21:08,560
沒錯

428
00:21:08,560 --> 00:21:10,521
記得有次...

429
00:21:11,855 --> 00:21:14,191
我不知為何要講你知,你知道的

430
00:21:14,775 --> 00:21:16,109
講給他知吧

431
00:21:16,109 --> 00:21:17,361
對,講我知

432
00:21:22,449 --> 00:21:24,743
媽媽叫它做“超級索鞋”

433
00:21:24,743 --> 00:21:28,497
因為她說無論當日心情幾差

434
00:21:28,497 --> 00:21:30,958
一穿上就覺得自己超級索

435
00:21:30,958 --> 00:21:31,875
原來如此

436
00:21:34,670 --> 00:21:38,757
有次她整天都很倒霉

437
00:21:39,466 --> 00:21:41,343
我行入她間房

438
00:21:41,343 --> 00:21:47,224
她躺在床上,穿著這雙鞋

439
00:21:48,225 --> 00:21:51,979
老友,天啊,在我某次球賽
媽媽穿著這雙鞋出現

440
00:21:51,979 --> 00:21:53,856
她的小腿很明顯是...

441
00:21:54,690 --> 00:21:56,275
線條很鮮明

442
00:21:56,275 --> 00:21:58,944
她掛住望自己對腳

443
00:21:59,653 --> 00:22:02,656
看台上其他媽媽望住她,以為她是癲婆

444
00:22:04,950 --> 00:22:07,744
好吧...

445
00:22:09,454 --> 00:22:11,999
你掂的...

446
00:22:12,708 --> 00:22:15,377
陰道賜我力量...

447
00:22:16,044 --> 00:22:17,462
陰道賜我滿滿的力量

448
00:22:18,964 --> 00:22:20,757
你有全職工作

449
00:22:20,757 --> 00:22:23,760
可以在下學期教多過一堂課嗎?

450
00:22:23,760 --> 00:22:26,972
時間管理是我的強項,我很耍家

451
00:22:26,972 --> 00:22:28,182
即使我很忙

452
00:22:28,182 --> 00:22:31,602
大可以叫教學助理重播《費氏話你知》

453
00:22:33,478 --> 00:22:34,396
明白

454
00:22:34,897 --> 00:22:38,358
那就是保羅在推薦信中提到的幽默感

455
00:22:38,942 --> 00:22:40,152
他有講過

456
00:22:42,279 --> 00:22:44,031
別再自命不凡了,爵羅德

457
00:22:45,282 --> 00:22:47,367
保羅,你到底怎會來了?

458
00:22:47,367 --> 00:22:49,036
況且你怎會知道他自命不凡?

459
00:22:49,036 --> 00:22:53,165
因為他是爵羅德
就連我衝進來,他都不會放在眼內

460
00:22:53,165 --> 00:22:57,336
這裏所有好工只會留給托他大腳的人

461
00:22:57,336 --> 00:22:58,253
講開又講

462
00:22:58,253 --> 00:22:59,963
利尼奇連還在奉承你嗎?

463
00:22:59,963 --> 00:23:01,048
代我問候他

464
00:23:01,048 --> 00:23:03,926
我會,他15分鐘後送午餐來給我

465
00:23:05,135 --> 00:23:06,261
錄用她吧

466
00:23:06,845 --> 00:23:08,847
她是出色的治療師

467
00:23:09,348 --> 00:23:12,226
保羅,我剛才已講過會錄用她了

468
00:23:13,727 --> 00:23:17,814
那麼,繼續看電郵吧,我要把說話講完

469
00:23:18,398 --> 00:23:19,399
好吧

470
00:23:20,692 --> 00:23:24,446
她是我遇過最善解人意的臨床醫生

471
00:23:25,030 --> 00:23:26,990
所以她深得病人愛戴

472
00:23:26,990 --> 00:23:28,075
而且

473
00:23:29,034 --> 00:23:32,246
我對她講得不夠多

474
00:23:33,330 --> 00:23:37,417
我很重視她這個同事

475
00:23:37,417 --> 00:23:42,673
因為我似乎不善於跟我關心的女人相處

476
00:23:42,673 --> 00:23:43,841
你真的完全不懂

477
00:23:43,841 --> 00:23:45,133
但我在努力改進

478
00:23:46,927 --> 00:23:50,305
我計劃在140歲前改過

479
00:23:50,305 --> 00:23:55,227
我會活到變人瑞,因為我飲很多水

480
00:23:59,606 --> 00:24:00,774
你講完未?

481
00:24:00,774 --> 00:24:02,317
把車匙給我

482
00:24:02,317 --> 00:24:03,819
你要車我回家

483
00:24:03,819 --> 00:24:05,195
我在車上等你

484
00:24:14,413 --> 00:24:16,290
這個人真奇怪

485
00:24:16,290 --> 00:24:18,750
對,而且超級刻薄

486
00:24:33,724 --> 00:24:35,934
唏,我們快遲到了,可以行未?

487
00:24:36,435 --> 00:24:38,187
可以,我在打領帶

488
00:24:38,687 --> 00:24:40,981
-為婚禮演講辭而緊張嗎?
-沒有

489
00:24:41,773 --> 00:24:43,901
好吧,樓下見

490
00:24:46,862 --> 00:24:49,239
-占美去了邊?
-唏,別擔心,他會來的

491
00:24:49,239 --> 00:24:52,534
否則我身為伴郎會打他一身

492
00:24:52,534 --> 00:24:53,744
爸爸,謝謝你

493
00:24:54,995 --> 00:24:57,539
我們等他兩分鐘吧,然後一齊打他

494
00:24:57,539 --> 00:24:58,540
不錯啊

495
00:24:58,540 --> 00:25:02,211
好吧,人人都坐好了,我做得超好

496
00:25:02,794 --> 00:25:05,005
我還是無法相信你在我的婚禮上幫手

497
00:25:05,005 --> 00:25:07,508
但你是超班的接待員,戴力

498
00:25:08,091 --> 00:25:09,927
戴...他知我個名

499
00:25:10,719 --> 00:25:11,929
是我們兩個的大日子

500
00:25:12,846 --> 00:25:13,680
-唏
-唏

501
00:25:13,680 --> 00:25:14,806
-好吧
-我來了

502
00:25:14,806 --> 00:25:16,350
-好極
-對,好吧

503
00:25:16,350 --> 00:25:18,477
別再睥住我,我剛才在背演講辭

504
00:25:18,477 --> 00:25:22,731
-好吧,我們去吧,是時候了
-好吧

505
00:25:23,524 --> 00:25:24,525
好吧

506
00:25:26,026 --> 00:25:27,027
好吧

507
00:25:29,696 --> 00:25:30,822
我們開始了

508
00:25:37,579 --> 00:25:38,664
唏

509
00:25:38,664 --> 00:25:43,710
大家留意到這個婚禮場地像窄腳褲嗎?

510
00:25:44,962 --> 00:25:45,963
周圍都無氣球

511
00:25:51,218 --> 00:25:55,556
抱歉,我可能是有點緊張

512
00:25:55,556 --> 00:25:57,724
拜仁在提雅我的婚禮講得很精彩

513
00:25:57,724 --> 00:25:58,851
提雅和我

514
00:25:58,851 --> 00:26:00,352
-無人在乎
-這個嘛

515
00:26:00,352 --> 00:26:03,146
好吧,婚姻...

516
00:26:13,866 --> 00:26:19,288
婚姻對我來講很難啟齒

517
00:26:21,123 --> 00:26:24,918
相信你們很多都知道
我太太在一年多前過身

518
00:26:28,505 --> 00:26:29,506
它毀了我

519
00:26:30,215 --> 00:26:32,217
不知我會否走出陰霾

520
00:26:33,051 --> 00:26:35,637
老實講,有時我還未肯定

521
00:26:39,057 --> 00:26:40,893
但天啊,是值得的

522
00:26:43,896 --> 00:26:49,359
跟我太太的每一秒

523
00:26:52,905 --> 00:26:54,489
都是我人生最美好的時刻

524
00:26:57,826 --> 00:27:00,537
若不是因為提雅,我今日不會在這裏

525
00:27:00,537 --> 00:27:04,333
我們都是,因為提雅是拜仁和查理的媒人

526
00:27:05,334 --> 00:27:07,419
有宗軼事,在第一次約會後

527
00:27:08,128 --> 00:27:11,465
他們各自發短訊給提雅說

528
00:27:12,466 --> 00:27:13,717
“我覺得不適合”

529
00:27:17,471 --> 00:27:18,472
但這天還是來了

530
00:27:19,431 --> 00:27:24,061
因為提雅知道他們是天造地設

531
00:27:26,188 --> 00:27:31,818
我老婆相信最好的自救方法就是救人

532
00:27:32,569 --> 00:27:33,987
天啊,她是對的

533
00:27:33,987 --> 00:27:38,492
幫我一個忙吧,轉身望望你們的朋友

534
00:27:39,910 --> 00:27:41,453
你們有很多朋友

535
00:27:42,621 --> 00:27:46,333
你們有彼此,但別忘記還有他們

536
00:27:48,252 --> 00:27:53,215
他們今日來為你們慶祝,然後去買醉

537
00:27:54,007 --> 00:27:56,635
有些人會搭上,誰知道?

538
00:28:00,180 --> 00:28:01,557
但他們一直在你身邊

539
00:28:05,477 --> 00:28:06,812
遇上人生難題時

540
00:28:09,147 --> 00:28:11,859
他們會幫助你渡過難關

541
00:28:15,320 --> 00:28:16,864
-對吧?
-對

542
00:28:17,447 --> 00:28:19,199
-對吧?
-對

543
00:28:19,867 --> 00:28:20,868
所以...

544
00:28:22,244 --> 00:28:24,788
不如我們開始婚禮吧

545
00:28:26,206 --> 00:28:27,708
天啊,我還以為婚禮完了

546
00:28:27,708 --> 00:28:30,252
-很大聲
-抱歉

547
00:28:30,252 --> 00:28:35,048
我宣佈你們正式成為
合法丈夫,可以吻新郎了

548
00:28:52,941 --> 00:28:55,277
我聽到你的陰道有反應

549
00:28:55,861 --> 00:28:57,362
他才不是安全陰莖

550
00:29:03,285 --> 00:29:08,707
唏,我欣賞你在台上講,救人是為了自救

551
00:29:08,707 --> 00:29:11,210
所以我們才做這一行,對吧?

552
00:29:12,211 --> 00:29:13,462
不過我始終...

553
00:29:15,380 --> 00:29:18,300
你治療病人的瘋狂手法

554
00:29:19,635 --> 00:29:23,138
我很意外,你沒有燒毀治療中心

555
00:29:23,847 --> 00:29:24,890
老實講句

556
00:29:26,808 --> 00:29:27,851
我很好彩

557
00:29:29,937 --> 00:29:30,979
我也是

558
00:30:17,609 --> 00:30:18,735
我想坐低

559
00:30:19,611 --> 00:30:20,612
第一次

560
00:31:05,032 --> 00:31:06,700
你真的很似你媽

561
00:31:23,717 --> 00:31:26,220
我累了,我想回去

562
00:31:26,220 --> 00:31:28,096
認真?你的體能真的這麼差?

563
00:31:28,096 --> 00:31:30,015
你可以繼續行,我行夠了

564
00:31:31,934 --> 00:31:34,269
老實講,你不能以那種語氣跟我說話

565
00:31:34,853 --> 00:31:36,396
我想用甚麼語氣都可以

566
00:31:37,314 --> 00:31:39,483
我厭倦了你裝作比我高尚

567
00:31:39,483 --> 00:31:40,567
你玩夠了

568
00:31:40,567 --> 00:31:45,572
你是白癡,姬絲
所以收聲吧,否則我收你皮

569
00:31:51,703 --> 00:31:52,704
但景色好靚

570
00:32:15,102 --> 00:32:16,103
輕輕篤

571
00:33:08,363 --> 00:33:10,365
字幕翻譯:尹寶燕